God teaches

Daniel & Esther : our gifts from God.


God is teaching me so much so.

The scripture verse that sticks out is:
"... Every branch that bears fruit He prunes to make it bear more fruit. ..." ( Jn 15:2)




God has answered all my prayers regarding this babies,...

-to be healthy
-making it to full term
-to give birth via our planned c-section
-for the pre-clampsia to be healed (just as it started), even the medical staff where puzzled with that one. One is normally only cured of pre-clampsia by giving birth but mine went away according to them "on it own". But I know that God healed me.
-...

He even granted me, my dream of being rolled down the maternity unit (from recovery to my bed .. which was at the total other end of the floor) with my two babies in my arms.
They were with me the whole time in my room, minus the few times they had baths, or were weighed. I was also thinking that something would happen and they would be taken away,... the same type of feeling of being worried about being woken up from a really good amazing dream.
And we all came home together, on my discharged day.

and to top if of about my neighbours (the parting outside at 3 am neighbours, yes those some neighbours that cause me to have to bring Jacob inside otherwise my toddler is going to be high neighbours,...) are putting their house up for sales. Hurray.

Through all this ... God has taught me to trust him. And to trust that he does speak to me, and most importantly to trust that he speaks to my darling husband.
The biggest thing is that Joey had expressed to me, at around 32 weeks gestational, that he felt God telling him that the babies would not go to the special care nursery. I almost cut his head off, telling him that this was unrealistic. We had recently meat with a neanotologist that felt the babies would be early and thought that 34 weeks gestational would be about as far as we would make it. We showed him wrong. In all our babies didn't go into the special care nursery, they came with us to my room. The miracle that occurred was that a week and a half before my c-section the hospital changed it's policy ... they used to send babies of mother with gestational diabetes to the special care nursery for at least a 24 hours observations, but they changed it to just verifying the babies blood sugar while they are with mom. The first checked after the first breastfeeding session was low, hence they received 1 oz of formula. After which time there checks were all good. Praise God.

Back to God pruning me...
well,... I just assumed that I would be able to breastfeed both our babies as I had abundant milk for Jacob and that he nurses so effectively. I just assumed my babies would be good weights and weight lost would not be an issues...
both here we are weighing that with the rented scale, breastfeeding and then pumping the little breast milk that I do have, and supplementing them with formula, and being really picking about their latches, and desperately trying to wake them up, as they are very sleepy babies.
God is again pruning my sense of perfectionist, and the sense that I need to do a specific task in order to be considered good or adequate (not sure how to spell that). It's not enough that I grew two good size babies in utero and carried them to full term, I want to be able to feed outside of utero as well.... It seems God is teaching me that being a mom is more then breastfeeding.

The reasons my milk is not up to demands of my babies needs,... are partially due to the fact that the diabetes didn't leave after giving birth. We discovered that a few days post-partum and are not trying to stabilize my sugar levels. I am back on insulin. We are praying that it goes away as I loose more weight. The other reason that my milk might not be coming is complete exhaustion.... having to wake the babies every three hours to do a feeding cycle that last approximately 1 1/2 hours - 1 3/4 hours then leaving you with 1 1/2 hours - 45 minutes to go to the bathroom, eat, sleep and occasionally shower is exhausting. My lactation consultant put me on bed rest for 24 hours yesterday. In which my only obligation was to be vertical as much as possible and pump when I felt up to it. I feel much better but still very tired. She felt that this would allow my body to heal and regulate my sugars hence allowing the milk to come in more abundantly.... It still has not, but there is hope.

God reminded me yesterday that I choose Daniel and Esther's name because I wanted them to be strong, courageous, and people that would persevere through challenges and stand up for their convictions,... He then gently told me that in order to rise children with these values I had to have experiences in which I too used them.
Hence, yes the lest just put both babies on formula all the time would be the easiest route to go, but is it what is best for them or is it want I have on my heart to do, no. Hence, perseverance, courage, and the lest try everything we can before giving up route is the one we are choosing to take.

Thank you for all your prayers during these challenging first few weeks.
And praise God that Joey is on paternity leave for these first 6 weeks.