speaking to me

Read Ezekiel Chapter 3 perferably from the NRSV

and see if these same verses stick out to you as they did for me...


Ezekiel 3:8
... do not fear them or be dismayed at their looks,....

I need to remember that when people give me and my kids those nasty looks at mass.


Ezekiel 3:11
...go to the exiles. to your people, and speak to them. Say to them. "Thus syas the Lord God"; WHETHER THEY HEAR OR REFUSE TO HEAR.

I truly don't need to worry if they response to the message God gives me to give them. I just need to give it.

Ezekiel 3:14
...The Spirit lifeted me up and bore me away; I WENT IN BITTERNESS IN THE HEAT OF MY SPIRIT, the hand of th Lord being strong upon me....

Even if I don't feel like doing something, but I know the Lord wants me to do it.,... do it. and it's fine not to feel like doing things you need to do but do it.

the house is messy... but I need to blog.

Jacob school journey is really getting to me. No one should say to a child "School will be so exciting you will learn so many new things!" Of course Jacob has learned new things,... but do they really have to do with Bomb threats and Halloween.

Honestly with the work coming home with him, all I can say is that he is making progress in pattern making, otherwise he is learning one number per month this for a child who is adding and subtracting at home. Alphabet wise one work sheet has come home on the letter I, and they claim the a straight line is not the letter I, I felt like calling and asking them to look at a computer keyboard and describe the letter I to me. At least on all our key board it is a straight line up and down. Jacob is reading things all around us, including instruction on how I should make the Kraft dinner in the microwave because it's quicker! Many people are telling to stop doing work with him at home, but he loves it. Would you tell a child who loves playing hockey, to stop practicing and playing hockey until the peers in his age group all catch up! No. Then how can people honestly say to stop doing activities and games with Jacob regarding maths and reading.

So everyone is telling me that kindergarten, especially kindergarten is simply for the social element. Well, I have issues there as well. Jacob is in a spit grade class, meaning that his class has some Junior Kindergarten kids and some Senior Kindergarten kids. After months at school, Jacob is still struggling with names of some of the SK kids, put after taking to his teacher I can understand. As she tries to separate them as much as possible. I wished I would of know that, I would not be asking for names of these older children. But the straw that is braking this camel's back is the fact that my sweet sensitive boy is being teased at school. Today is day three of this trial, and I am afraid it will not be ending soon. I fear they have realized that he is sensitive and they can bother him. The bullies are in the Sk component of the class. Jacob already doesn't want to go to school, as he would much rather work from home like daddy does. At least at home he would do challenging work and have intellectual stimulation. But now the social component to which we are telling him is why he goes to school is being less then beautiful... it's actually ugly because it is not enough bulling that something can really be done, but it is enough for our sons confidence to be eroded.
I was hoping that school was going to be like camp for me. I hated going to camp as a kid, but as an adult I loved helping out with camps (summer camps, march break camps, ....) I was hoping that even though I hate school as a child I would like school as a parents of a child in school. But I am growing emotionally exhausted at the battles of sending my child to a place he simply is not wanting to go, and that I am wondering how much damage is being done to his confidence.
It is really difficult for me to relive my early school year experience as I watch and try to help my little one going through so many similar experiences.

On a plus side, on Monday's swimming class Jacob jump into the water from a standing position all by himself. Something he has been working on for many many months, and he did it!

not forgotten

My to do list seems to be never ending.... I really wish does people who said "having Jacob in school would make life easier " would raise up so I can have a little talking with them. What is easier about it, I really don't know. Perphas it is because I can a whole 2 hours in the morning of no thaving Jacob present with me and the twins. But the getting him out the door, getting him to school with all the necessairy things, the "oh got to go pick him up NOW!" and cannot forget the "re-intergration" to the family once he is home,.... none of this is easier. But overall I am getting more use to it all. We just had a 6 day brake from it all. Jacob missed 2 days of school due to illness, and then had a PD day, a weekend, and a statutory holiday... to total 6 days at home. He is really excited to go to school tomorrow.

Things have been challenging emotionally for me, and the routine of everything seems to want to kill me. But I will get through it all as God is giving sufficient grace for the moment.

I have to go ... get my 8 hours sleep or else my hubby will turn me alarm clock off and make me sleep in and not get up early enough to get my morning "me" time. Which will cause my whole day to be oscar the grouchist.

Will try to be more punctual at blogging.
Thanks for reading.

school starts

Tomorrow morning is a morning I have dread for over a year. Jacob starts school. I have put a good front for him (at least I hope I have) about how excited I am for him. I just feel like I am losing my little boy. It being back so many of the emotions of his birth. There I was cuddle and breastfeeding or I should say learning to breastfeed my first born son, when all of sudden the whole world got crazy. They, the nurses and doctor, took him away! They started doing all these things to him. Next thing I new I was separated from him. I was made to watch video on how to care for my newborn son but could not hold him. I was brought to a room and told to rest. Rest, I didn't know what was going on with my son, how could I rest. Once everyone left me in my room, I wobbled himself to a near by wheel chair and wheeled myself through half of the hospital. Finally getting to be beside my son. I was allowed to stick my hand in a little hole and touch him, but I couldn't hold him. My husband tried to explain to me what all the wires were for but my mind was a blur. I stayed there by his side for hours and the other hours I was made to sit in a little room with stuff on my breast trying to get milk in so I could eventually breastfeed my son. ... in the mean time I had to deal with feels of lost. I really felt like my son was not mine anymore, he was the nursing staff. I had to have permission to touch him, the oxygen levels and warmth of the incubator would drop to low when the little window was open to long. I had to eventually be discharged from the hospital without Jacob. I had to face coming to a house fully ready to greet a newborn baby but without my baby in my arms. It was some of the hardest time I have faced. and again... I sit here with the ticker boom going.... of school. The exception this time is that this will not end anytime soon... but again, I will not be able to be with him to help him or cheer him on, again I will have to trust government paid professionals to take care of his needs, and again tears are streaking down my face... it seems like I was just getting to enjoy this incredible boy God has graced me with and now I have to share him with the world. I know there is a joy in that, but right now all I see is tears and pain in my heart.

size 6 boys clothing

I am looking for some size 6 boys clothing. Jacob is growing so tall. He really needs pijamas and honestly we don't care if the match or what not, just comfy things to sleep in. He does need pretty much all other types of clothing as well. I will head to Value Village to get clothing if need be, but I thought I would see if anyone has some to hand down to us, first.
We are so grateful for all the help we have received for clothes for all the children!

Challenges

How many things can I handle at once:

1) oldest son starting school for the first time and on the eve of that
2) sorting out all the baby things (or should all say all the stuff that is not presently lent out) and packaging them up for their new owners, and putting the large bags in the van for delivery with in the next few days (the van is packed)
3) PMS and insomina

joy oh joy

oh I almost forgot, tonight at dinner we notice that Daniel's lips are whiteish. The outline of his lips are red but the content of his lips especially his lower lip are whiteish with a little pink similar to the inside of the mouth put lighter. ... both Joey and I thought it was odd but didn't think further then that until my overworking brain started putting two and two together... hum... yes, he was been a little quiter lately, yes, he has really been needing his naps and falling asleep easily for nap and bedtime, yes he had a vacination two weeks ago, had a low grade fever and a rash (which are normal symptoms from the vacinates)... but could of the virus triggered another round of TEC .... in english words... could he be facing another round of low hemoglobins (red blood cells)... which totally help give the red to ones lips! Please God, I trust you but please not again. To some of you who are just learning about us, Daniel bone marrow was severally surpressed or even stopped producing hemoglobins last winter. It was diagnosed as more then likely TEC as there are no formal test to confirm this diagnoses. Ten minutes before going in to surgery for a bonemarrow biopsy test result returned to inform the doctors and us that he was healed. It was a very challenging time in our lives,... and I would rather not repeat it. Please pray that this is just a odd thing that happen and tomorrow morning everyting will be fine.

Thank you

speaking to my heart

I love how My Daddy speaks to my heart. My Eternally Daddy.

I truly admit I struggle with materialism. I would be quite content living with all sort of stuff and collecting things... however, that is not what I was created to do. And honestly cleaning and tidying all the stuff has become to laborious. The other day I found myself wishing for someone to come into my house and declutter it for me. Go through all my stuff, the stuff in the clothes, the stuff in the storage rooms, the stuff hiding in baskets and get rid of everything we did not need. As a result, I image an tidy, well organized clutter free home that would not only be easy and quick to clean but a place where we could have fun and just be free to be who God created us to be. Us being me, my husband and three kids.

So last night, we decided to shed all things that we either 1) have not used in the six months or will not for sure use in the next few months (mainly winter stuff). 2) or that we have a really really good reason for keeping it. A reason which our spouse agrees with! Ouch. I must say I was a little grumpy. But it felt good to shed. Jacob, our 4 year old, even voluntarily put some toys at the road to give away. He was so excited that someone picked up some of the toys, that the toys will go to some kids who will play with them and use them.

And today, my daddy spoke to my heart. As a result of the motor vehicle accident we had a few weeks ago, I am in pain. My back is very soar, so much so it wakes me up at night. I have been prayer, asking God to heal me, but more importantly, to help me not be resentful and unforgiving to the man who hit us. Hence, I have agreed to pray for him to know God in a real tangible way. Great. But who know what, I am still really struggling with it all.

Today the kids and I went to have the van checked out for repairs and then we were heading off to do some shopping - for school supplies. Because of the location of the garage I drove on streets I would not of otherwise driven on. On one of those streets, was our new couch. Joey, my hubby, and I have been wanting a new couch. A new couch to us. We wanted it to be a neutral color, have three cushions (one for each of the kids) and be in decent shape. Well, on the curb was a three seater beige couch in great condition. With the best sign of all "FREE". Yah! All three kids and I kept Thanks God and exclaiming our happiness all the way home, with the four way flashing flashing and the back doors of the van tidied down with a tie rope which was accidentally left in our van from the weekend. How sweet!

Jacob even helped me bring it into the house. He is so excited. We talked about how great it is, to give away things we are no longer using in order that others get what they need/ want. And how when others give what they no longer need we sometimes get what we need / want. - He does realize that we have been wanting a new couch for nearly a year. But it has arrive... bringing with it great real life lessons and joy. And a big thank you to God for helping me get over the grudge of the accident - because if it had not been for the accident I would not of been driving on that road to find that couch. - now that sound like a topic I could "speak" about. "Finding the treasure along the bumpy road!" HUM!!!


Sherry, if your reading this let me know. I would love to meet up with another P31 gal.

To everyone else, Thanks for taking the time to read what I write. I love knowing your reading, leave comments. I get really excited when I get them.

dear little girl

Please pray for a 5 year old little girl, her daddy and everyone else involved.

On saturday evening, a little girl and her daddy were walking together. The family had recently purchased a trailer at the same camp site as my parents. The father daughter duo were walking a long one of the many small roads. Many of the campers choose to walk, cycle, or use golf carts to get around the big campsite. The little girl walking with her father when she darted away from him and directly in front of a gold cart. The driver of the golf cart was unable to stop in time. He was impaired, and has been charged. The little girl is at the children's hopsital in a medication induce coma. She has multiple fractures to the skull, and has bleeding on the brain. It is still unknow if other issues will arise. Please pray for the full recovery of this little girl, but also for everyone invoved. Please pray for the daddy involved: I have heard that the father feels guilty. He feels he should of caught her in time, he feels he should have been able to save her. Please pray for the mom,.. we can only image the heart ache she is dealing with. Please pray for the little girl's 2 year old sister, that just wants her mommy,daddy and sister home and safe and well. Please pray for the driver of the golf cart, and all the passengers he had with him. (his wife, and a male friend - who is really having a hard time dealing with the situation.) Please pray for all the people at that camp site that witnessed the situation. Many people were present., including the little girl's cousin. Pray, pray , pray.
Thank you so much.
This is really scary as that could of been my child who all of suddent darted from my side, and went into dangers way.

What is the cost?

This week, I witnessed Jacob sitting in the back of a police cruiser.

It seems years flashed in front of my eyes.

No, he was not picked up anywhere. He was merely a curious 4 years old and we had a really nice police officer help us.

You see what was suppose to be a fun shopping trip to wallmart to buy Daddy a "seam riper" turned out to be more then what we planed. A seam riper, yes! My husband not only cooks, does laundry, and he sews as well - actually tonight him and Jacob made some child size ovenmits! We were stopped at a red light, only a few minutes away from our destination, when we were hit from behind. It seems a little red Honda civic had not planned it stop quite right. It left some of its paint and mark from it's body on to our van.

After checking on the kids, and getting some information from the other driver, we decided to move off the road to a near by parking lot. Eventually, we had to go to a local police station to report the accident. After much waiting, a police officer who recognized me from my law enforcement days came out to make the police report. The damage on our vehicle is probably close to 1,000$ and we need to replace the twins car seats and Jacob's booster seat. Great! I am grateful we have insurance, but I sure hate all the leg work involved in everything. The bring the van to the garage to get fixed, the getting the car seats out of our van into the rental van, getting new car seats, filling in all the paper work,...ARRRR!!!

I am grateful that the only on suffering injuries is me. The kids and Joey are fine. I have a sore shoulder and mid back, and neck. Probably from the seat belt, and all the stress.

Anyhow, with the accident, and my decision to declutter our house, I have been so busy and so little time to blog. Sigh!

I do think my body needs more sleep, so to dream land where as explained to Jacob today people go to get rest. My explanation sounded so good, it was like sleep was a commodity one could purchase. Now, image that. How much with one hour of restful sleep cost? One hour of restless sleep? After all it is better then none, or "they" say. Image the price tag on "a full night sleep". Now we all know that there is no money in this world that can buy sleep, but we are sure willing to find ways to beat the need for it. Coffee, chocolate, tea, coke, Pepsi,... caffeine, caffeine, are among the things I seek to replace that sleep I wish I had. How similar is our spiritual life? Can you image how much money it would cost to have a good 5 minute talk with God? How much would if cost to have an hour with God? How much with it cost to have eternal life? Can you image anyone having enough money to pay for that, the security that you won;t truly die when you die but would go on to live forever in a beautiful, serene environment with a person that loves you perfectly, where the streets are paved in gold, and where your treated like royalty. Can you image how much money that would cost? Could one ever afford it? How can I start saving up for that? Right, I don't have to save up for that. It is already paid for me and for you too! No, I am not a millionaire in hiding. But my Daddy is.
You see God arranged for me to have full access to him when ever I need him. God even arranged for me to live with him forever and ever, even when the 'world' think I am dead.
God, the father, sent Jesus to show us how to live, and then Jesus paid the price for me and you to live with God forever. Jesus paid with his life. He died on the cross for us to have a perfect relationship with God. All we need to do is accept the gifts. Accept that Jesus died on the cross for us and accept the grace of God to live the way he designed us to live.
Wow, we are rich in deed.

aquatic animal providing ambiance music

Have you ever seen an "pretend" turtle fully sprawled out on the floor of your grocery store, making the loudest screechiest noise? Lets be honest. What did you think about it? What did you think about the adult "turtles" with the little turtle?

I walk in on the scene last night, or should I say I lived that scene last night. As I left my husband "turtle", who was standing on his two legs and not on the floor, with our 2 year old "little turtle" and her two brothers who were not acting much better. I quickly finished the grocery we needed. As I was walking, or maybe I should say jogging, through the last few aisle I could her our little turtle crystal clear, I was sweating, and heart pounding. I could hardly believe my child's behaviour.

I rejoined the scene, we paid for the merchandise, and we left saying bye, bye to everyone and "hope you enjoyed the ambiance music, shows over for tonight!"

Then we had a little talk in the van.

Never ever judge people because we never know when you will be that next person.

child care swap

My heart is so excited. I have been blessed with the possibility of helping out in a wonderful children ministry.
Jacob is attending the program, but I do need to find child care for Daniel and Esther.
My need is to have them care for from about 12 (noon) to no later then 4pm (probably earlier), however I would love to make a whole day out of it. Spending every other Tuesday morning volunteer at Jacob's school and the other working on my book idea.
I am wondering if there is another mom or dad out there who would like to swap children for one day a week. You can watch my two little ones on Tuesday and I would watch yours (up to three children) either Wednesday, Thursday or Friday.
Or is there someone willing to come to our home to watch Daniel and Esther? Or does someone want to watch them in their own home? And what would you charge? Let me know, as soon as possible. As I want to give an answer to the ministry leaders as soon as possible.
Thanks you for passing the word out, and considering this request.

Burial plot

"Well... we are still registered at our home church and have our burial plot so were all set!"
This was the word that came out of a lovely women when asked about her relationship with God.

I was finishing up at the eye doctor when I noticed an elderly couple. The man was asked his date of birth .. 1920 was his answer... wow. I hope to still be alive and with my spouse at that age. What beauty!

The couple then tried repeatedly to call for a taxi,.. but none were available.

As I overheard the couple contemplating walking home, in 33 C heat plus humid, I offered to drive them home. This is when I love our 8 passenger van.

As I had the couple buckled in and driving away from the clinic, they pointed out the big old church where I grew up. That is all I need to realize that this was more then driving them home,... it was a opportunity to guide them HOME. Home where we will live forever.

I asked them if they went to church... one said yes, and one said no.

They were disappointed about not presently attending a church... but felt content with life and that they were still registered member of a church 3 hours away, and had buried plots there. To them it meant everything was done and sealed in place.

I told them " well, ... who knows I could die in a few hours,... you never know how things will turn out, but the fact is that likely you will be facing that time before me and you need to be ready for the reality of heaven or hell. You better know your God." Yes, those are the words that came out of my mouth, as this elderly couple were buckled up in my van. I can hardly believe I was this blunt,.. the bluntness opened up a great conversation.

Turns out they moved here three years ago, and have not gone to church since then. They don't drive. They just found it to hard to get to church. I asked them if they had ask people to drive them. They said "No, but no one has offered." I asked again,.. "have you asked", they again said "but no one has offered." I then asked why they had not asked... Silence.... The wife said I guess I should.

How often do we shy away from asking people if they need help? How many people could we be helping but think they are doing fine? Flip side, how many time are we uncomfortable to ask for help? How many times do we miss out on receiving love because we are to shy to reach out? Oh! how many opportunities I have missed over the years.

I asked the couple to consider opening up the phone book, and praying asking God to show them which churches to call. Then to call those church until they find one willing to drive them to and from church. They agreed to this, gave me their first and last name that I might pray for them, and then gave me the warmest hugs I have received in a long time. A hug that screamed THANK YOU.

THANK YOU GOD for allow me to take the time in my busy days for being an instrument for you.

All of this made me remember the elder man who attend my church and who lives on my street. I have been assuming that he would call if he needed a ride, but I guess I should call him!

Uplifted at She Speaks Part I

"She Speaks" has been one of the best things I have done for my soul.

As I approached Concord, North Carolina (the location of the conference) tears were trickling down my face. Attending this conference has been in the works for 6 years. Ever since, I first heard a short little 60 sec. message from Proverbs 31 Ministries on my local radio.

My dear husband asked me a few times how I felt. Honestly, it felt like all my nerves cells where ignited dancing all over my body. After reflecting on my feelings, I was able express my self. I felt that attending She Speaks was my yes to God. My yes to God, that I will take this desire he has placed in my heart to speak His Truth and His love to others. Next to my wedding, where I said yes to marring Joey and accepting all the children as gift from God, there has not been another time as distinctive as attending She Speaks.

July 31st, 2009... I checked in to the fanciest hotel I had ever stayed in. It was beautiful, what stands out most in my mind was the fact that the bell man (the luggage helper, greeter man) wanted me to let him do all the work of bring my luggage (all of it!) to my room all by himself. He even was a little frustrated that I tried to bring one of my own bags by myself... however he accepted when I told him it was a large purse not a bag. As I write this, I remember one other person who wants to carry all my luggage, not some of it, but all of it. Jesus says lay all your burden down and I will give you rest. He wants to carry all the burden for us. Oh! How I try to lay all of them down, and then pick one or two back up. Just like the bell man was slightly frustrated with me, I am sure Jesus wished we would just leave the luggage with him. You see it was truly much easier to enjoy the beauty of the hotel, and easier to say Bye to Joey without the luggage I had been trying to carry by myself. How I pray that I might truly be able to leave all my luggage/ baggage with Jesus in order to truly enjoy the beauty around me and concentrate on loving those around me.
_____

Big huge, metal flip chart from the 1980's (which I nickname the "Canadian PowerPoint") and a women speaking to herself in front of a mirror and a timer going off was what my dear roommate walked in to find. How God worked to match us together was incredible. Me from Ottawa, Canada; her from Salt Lake City, Utah. I am not sure if we would of met any other way, but I am so bless to have had the privilege to meet this incredible women of God who I truly love as a sister. Both of us had wanted to attend last year, however due to circumstance where unable to do so. She was attending the conference with the Writing track and I with the Speaking track. I had debated over taking the writing track or the speaking track. But as I was not yet ready with my book idea, I choose the speaking. However, my dear roommate was able to share so much of the writing information. We prayed together, laughed together and like girls do so well talked for hours and hours - leaving little time for shut eye. Thanks for everything Sarah.

So much great things occurred on the Friday, that I simply cannot share in details...
However some of the highlights:
-was finally getting Lysa TerKeurst books (what happens when Women Walk in Faith; What happens When Women say Yes to God; The Bathtub is Overflowing but I Feel Drained:How to Defeat Mommy Stress.) I am thinking and praying about leading a bible study at my house with the help of this last book if any is interested let me know.
-meeting some of the women who have been fundamental in my walk with God. These are ladies from the Proverbs 31 Ministry team and being able to thank them for all their great work in the Lord.
-Meeting all sorts of wonderful ladies who truly love God with their all who also are busy with young families and/ or other things in their lives.
-most of all soaking in God while in the Chapel. The ladies on the conference team had been praying for each one of us since the moment we registered. They placed our name by one of the names/ titles of God. I found my name by the title: "The Lord of Hosts, the Lord of Armies"... with scripture reference reflecting this title and the topic of my 5 minute talk I had prepared for the conference. It all so spoke so much to the heart of a mommy who was worried about having left her children for a whole week. I once again decided to put my trust in God at that moment, and to decided to trust God every time I worried from that moment on.

The topics I attend that day were: -
1)A compelling 15 minute radio Interview - where I not only learned a lot but I also met another Canadian and some women from Africa.
2) The main conference opening message: remarkABLE where God taught me that my choice is what matters. We might have the same situation as others but how we choose to react makes or brakes us.
3)Fear Not!: Where I learned and realized many things including that as long as I am walking with God and not ahead of him, I have nothing to fear. I also think that this is the session where I started learning that the credentials I need I will not obtain by having some letters behind my name (or in front of it) but the credentials I need I will gain by spending time with Jesus.
4) I met with my evaluation group: A group of 12 other ladies, including my evaluator. We all shared our 3 minute stories. It was a great time of getting to know each other, and breaking out of our comfort zones. We all did well. I was the most nervous I had even been speaking in front of a group, but I did well.

then the socializing occurred and the talking until the little hours of the morning with my roommate. I will post more soon,... including the infamous Uplifting experience ..soon

Please pray for...

A dear friend, one of my husbands work colleagues, is very ill. He has been in the hospital for over one week. He required brain surgery. His recover is this not certain. He has a lovely wife and a young daughter. Please pray for his full recovery, and for his wife and daughter to be strenghten and receive courage from God. As well as pray that the family may see God's provision for them in these very challenging times. Thank you for your prayers.

Vacation time

I am still vacationing,...

She Speaks was extremely uplifting both physically and spiritually....
Washington DC was lovely, and proved to get me back into shape,...
To top it off the vacation we were invited into the Vatican where we were loved and received gifts! I can hardly believe it took place.

I will post more regarding all of this in mid August when we return home.

We, Joey (my dear husband) and I, will be driving several hours tomorrow to get to the cottage and see our loving children and their incredible grandparents and great aunt. Please pray for our safe travel. Thanks you so much

SHE SPEAKS

For all of you wondering what I am actually up to, including my dear Mom. Here is a link to the conference. www.shespeaksconference.com

Thanks for all the great clothes you lent me, Mom. and for letting me nap with Esther today.

Yummy gluten frree muffins

Peanut Butter Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins (Gluten-Free)This

recipe adapted from one I found on celiac.com

I doubled the whole recipe, here is what I did

Ingredients:
6 bananas (I used frozen bananas)
4 eggs
1 cup white sugar
1 cup creamy peanut butter
3 1/2 cup white rice flour
4 teaspoons baking powder
2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 butter which I then metlted
1 cup 2% milk with a teaspoon of vinegar (to make buttermilk)
1 1/2 cup chocolate chips

Directions:
Preheat oven to 350F.
Mix first 4 ingredients in a food processor. Blend.
Combine dry ingredients in a mixing bowl.
Transfer food processor mixutre to large mixing bowl, add milk and butter. Reserve 1/4 cup or so of flour mixture for later.
When well mixed, graduly add dry ingredients while beating with a electric hand mixer. Blend well.
Add the 1/4 cup of so of flour mixture to the chocolate chips (this prevents then from sinking). Add the chocolate chips to the mixture. Put in the muffin mix in silicone muffin pan. Filling each muffin hole to the top. Bake for about 9 1/2 minutes for mini muffins and 12 or so for big muffins.

Enjoy

33 year old mother

In the news today we learn that a 33 year old mother of three children was executed to death in North Korea for giving out bibles. This I must say is what stops me from telling other about Jesus. Not because I live in North Korea, but I must admit I am fearful of what might happen to me and my family if I redically tell others about Our Savior. Today, as I read this news,... God spoke to my heart. Would you still tell others about me for ever, the way you passionately do this week? I want to, but do I have it in me. I pray I do. God give me the strenght, to do all the things you plan for me.
Lets all pray for this women, her family, loved ones, and all the people she touched and would have touched in North Korea.

countdown full of blessing

With little less then a week before we leave for the SHE SPEAKS conference, so many blessing are been poured on us.

I wish I could share them all with you. However, you can image all the packing that is taking place. Three little ones going to the cottage for nearly two weeks, and Joey and I leaving for the conference/ travelling and then hitting the cottage scene for a few days.


I can hardly believe that my little Daniel and Esther are now two years old. It hard to believe that they are becoming the little independent person which they are. Esther is constantly asking to go to Grandma's house, hence, I am having no problem with granting her request by leaving her and her brothers in the great care of Grandma, Grandpa, and Great Aunt Jane. They will have a blast, and so will we.


I was feeling shy about going to SHE SPEAKS. Shy of the fact that I am a Christian Catholic attending a Christian (mainly Christian Protestant) conference. Or should I say simply shy of being Catholic. Not because I am shy of being Catholic, or I am. It is more because I don't want do dealt, again, with the pressure that I should 'convert' to some Protestant denomination. You see, years ago I dealt with that. The pressure to 'convert or stay" which I felt by my friends who were Christian Protestant and the member of the various ministries I was involved with, was so intense I nearly went insane. I must also say the pressure I felt from my friend that were Christian Catholic was nearly as bad too! Eventually God is the one that lead me to remain a Christian Catholic. I had prayed that he show me the way, because only he could understand all the various aspects.
Now, I have gone to a few Christian events since, that period of my life, but never in a way that I fully let go (surrender) and let God do whatever he wanted to do with me. To some of you that concept might be very foreign. However, I can assure you that there is joy, comfort, and security in realizing that God has your best interest at heart and you can totally trust him to lead you to become the person you are meant to be. Now, I am heading off to SHE SPEAKS the leaders say it's a life changing conference. I want it to be a life changing conference, not because my life sucks but because I want to be even more ME. The me God created me to be. But, will it be a life changing conference, if I am shy of being who I am. NO! Because I will have a wall around me which God will need to brake down all weekend, instead of speaking directly to my heart. No, because I will be watching what is happening, rather then participating in what is happening. So, I prayed and ask God help me with all of this....

He lead me to attend a bible study at the MET Church, here in Ottawa. The title of the study is "Free to be me, and all God created me to be!"... How appropriate. I enjoyed the speaker very much. She shared how she met God, and the affects it had on her life. Then we were suppose to brake out in a small group for some discussion question. Ok, let's be honest. It is safe for me to go listen to a talk, but actually talk to people???? They might find out who I am, that I am not one of them, and might very well get the whole pressure to convert thing again... I really didn't feel like taking part in this small group,.. but I felt lead to go, like my body just followed the crowd and went to the small group section, and found a table with these two beautiful blond hair women, which I tough had know each other their whole lives, .... I should say it was like God was holding my hand walking me to this table, like a mother would walk a nervous child. I started to talk to these incredible women. Yes, the dread question came up, after all it was on the sheet of question to discuss,... How long have you been coming to the Met? Turns out, neither of the women, attended the church regularly. They were in fact very familiar with the Catholic Church and only attended the Met occasionally,... JUST LIFE ME. This blew me away. Actually sharing that I was a Christian Catholic, reduced their discomfort. We shared many things around that little table that night, things of God, things that penetrated our hearts,... we were Christian women sharing in the joys and difficulties of life, and encouraging each other, loving each other the way Jesus wants us to love, with the dividers down!
This is what I am planning on doing at SHE SPEAKS to meet sister in Christ and love them as each one of them is made in the image of God, and only in getting to know them, for who they are, can I truly get to know my Almighty God.

Thank you ladies from Wednesday night. You know who you are. You spoke so much to my heart. Hope to see you two in a few weeks.

So, I am still shy about being a Christian Catholic? I hope not. I hope I can learn from Wednesday evening, and just be confident that my sister in Christ will accept me for who I am, and not judge me on our difference but embrace our common ground. That we all have the same Heavenly Father, the same Jesus Christ who saved us, and the same Holy Spirit who help us one our day to day lives. I am excited at finally meeting all these women who a long with me feel called to speak, write, lead, and infulence and who live their lives for God.

This might be the last post for a while, as we are heading off in a few days, and life will be getting busy preparing for the trip. God bless all you and check out the blog in in the middle of August, for some details of the trip.

Love with all Jesus' love;

I did it!

Well, I have done it. My teaching talk for the speakers conference I am attending at the end of the month, is ready. I am struggling at finding time to post here. It is similar to it's 8 minutes counterpart which is the previous post, but with 2 minutes taken out of it.... and some extra material regarding David and the psalms,mainly examples. Regarding the pattern of 7 steps found in the Psalms, I developed a chart that 1) shows the principle 2) then shows how that looked for David 3) How it look for me when Daniel was ill
I then conclude vary briefly, and then we all pray together.

Thanks for all your prayers as I prepared this. If you can now pray that we all stay healthy and have a good trip. Thanks you,

David decides to trust God

Here it is well the 8 minutes and 20 second format:

If any one can help me out by giving suggestions of what I should cut out, let me know. It was originally over 15 minutes long, then the 2nd draft was 10 minutes long, the 3rd draft 8 minutes and 20 second. arr!

David decided to trust God....


"O most High, when I am afraid, in you I place my trust. God, I praise your promise; in you I trust, I do not fear. What can mere flesh do to me?" (Psalm 56: 3-5)

These are the words of David while he is being chased by a man who is repeatedly trying to kill him. I am not sure I would react the same way under the same circumstances, would you?


David was serving Saul, the king of Israel. Saul liked David so much he had sent a letter to David's father stating that he wanted to keep David in his service. Then
Jealousy comes in the picture. (1 Samuel 18:6-9) When returning from battle Saul see and hears women dancing and singing "Saul killed his thousands, David killed tens of thousands." From that day on Saul was jealous of David. What does a king who is not seeking God's will do when he is jealous of someone else? Kill him or at least try to kill him.
This forces' David to escape from his home and wife, to hide in the desert strongholds, and eventually live amongst Israel's enemy the Philistines.

How would you or I react to treats on our lives... Would we want revenge on this "enemy' of ours? How does David react?

Mercifully. You see Scripture tells us David could of taken the life of Saul, not once but twice. ( 1 Samuel 24) and (1 Samuel 26). At both of these moments David has people around him telling him that he should take Saul life, they even word it ways such as " God has delivered your enemy into your hands, this is the time do it." Doesn't that sound familiar? Is there times in our lives were others are speaking to us about how we should take revenge on others? Or at least make a situation fair?


Of course. How do we handle that? Do we fall under the pressure or not?
Do they manage to influence our actions?

Let us see how David did it.


As a man after God's own heart David decides to trust God. (Psalm 56:3) David followed God's; commandments and he sought the God's advice. Several times in 1 Samuel we hear David seeking God's will: Should I do this, should I go there? David conversed with God and God guided him.

David does not fretting or worrying about his situation. He simply uses prayer to hands over his situation to God who stronger then any man. Through out the various psalm, written by David, during and after this time in his life we see a pattern of 7 steps which David uses to handle potentially frightening situation:


1) beg God to listen to him,
2) tell God about his feelings
3) tell God about the facts
4) Remember how God has been faithful and helped in the past
5) and most importantly be would Praise God
6) and thank him for his upcoming victory over his enemy.
7) and he continues to be obedient to God's commandments and direction.



In the Psalms David is asking the people of God, that is us, to Trust God, like he did even when it seems like our enemies are winning over us or the situation is big and we can see a way out.




How do we go do this? How do we trust God?

What is trust: The Canadian Oxford dictionary states trust
is relying or depending on someone or something.

Some of us can have a heard time at the idea of trusting someone. We been hurt by some of the people we trusted. Some of those people are the ones that are the "Saul" in our lives,... Let's look at that, David is not telling us to trust anybody, he is telling us to trust God...

Who is God,... God created the whole world including us.... In the book of Genesis, scripture tells us that God created us in his image, he knows how we functions. What if you have problems with your car, who do you trust to fix it? Perhaps that guy who gives you the best deal in town, but if you could afford it would you not prefer to take it to the people that made it, to the dealership. Then lets face it, the person we need to trust with our problems is not merely ourselves, or a counsellor , however a good counsellor can help a lot, but the one we can trust is God our creator, . Unlike others who have hurt us and "lost our trust", God knows us inside and out, he knows where we've been and where we are going. He does have our best interest at heart.


So, how do we apply the principles David used to trust God in our own lives:
Let look at an example from my own life:

Like most mothers, one of the fears I have is that my children become ill. This past winter I came face to face with this fear.
At the age of 18 months, my little boy started having seizures which led us to realize that he had a blood disorder.

Through the ordeal people simply couldn't believe how well I was handling the situation, now when I look back at it,... God had guide me to follow the same 7 steps David did. Prasie God!

1) beg God to listen to me : As I my precious little boy in my arms as I yelled "NOOOO! God not this!

2) tell God about my feelings : It was not eloquent or loud, just in my mind I spoke to him about my fears, and worries....

3) tell God about the facts of the situation and how it affects you :I spoke to God about the facts I knew at the time, I must say I also did a fair bit of research on blood in order to gain more knowledge and understand the situation.

4) Remember how God has been faithful and helped in the past both personally and throughout the history of the Church. : My husband helped me remember how God had helped us in the past, certainly in my challenging pregnancy/ delivery for our son and his twin sister.

5) Praise God in song or in words : We kept praying, alone and together as a family. We sang songs of praise to God together.

6) Thank God for his upcoming victory over the situation: I asked God to heal Daniel. I don't think I was though to claim victory over the situation. But I did seek help from others who would prayer in such a way.

7) and continues to be obedient to God's commandments and direction in your life: I continued to listen to God's commandment ; loving my little boy just like I loved him before this medical condition, and I kept following God direction in my life.


Let us pray: God just as you help David trust in you in all circumstances, help us to trust you in all our circumstance, no matter what! God, when we are afraid, help us to put out trust in you, Lord. Amen."

3 minutes ... why not four?

I had Joey time my "3 minutes testimony" and it turns out that it was 4 minutes! Arch!!! So here is the "3 mintues testiomy: in it's 3 minute fromat" I really hope I didn't ake to much out.

"Hi I am Roxanne Paul, I am from Ottawa, Canada.


Growing up I felt an intense pressure to meet my future husband while I was in my teens.
I went from boyfriend to boyfriend, searching for the guy you would fill all my needs, wants and desires. This lead me to find myself divorced by my early twenties.

While I was in this painful situation, my mother took me aside.
She told me I should go back to the church based youth group I had attended a few years earlier, as at least then I was happy. To get her off my case I promised her that I would go on two conditions 1) that would be on a weekend I was off which were very few, and 2) that it didn't cost to much money.

It didn't take long that I had received an invitation to a weekend retreat from that youth group, which met both those conditions.

Once there, of course all dolled up in case I were to meet a great, handsome, polite church guy, I looked the crowd over, no handsome guy. I took a seat and sighed in desperation. Then I though maybe he is just running late, I choose to listen to the talk in order to talk with him at brake.

Then minister walked in, I was shocked he was not an ordinary clean cut boring man. He had long hair, piercings, and tattoos, Needless to say he intrigued me. He stated that the fast paced life style of needing and wanting everything NOW is not how God intended for us to live and that is why we have so many problems. This all made so much sense to me, this is when I started truly listening. That weekend I realized so many things:
-that God loved me, the way I had longed to be loved all my life, that is unconditionally, I realized that this love could only be filled by God, not some guy.
-I learned that I was constantly getting hurt in relationship because I was not living the way God designed me to live. But God was giving me an other chance, I accept all Jesus did on the cross for me and told God all my sins. A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders and I felt like a whole new persons.


With all this new knowledge, I knelt down in the chapel and said "God, I give you permission to love me" this was not easy as I had been so hurt by those I loved. As I gave God permission, I pleaded with him, to not hurt me and to be very gentle. That is when, In my mind I saw the picture of a rose bud being gently opened to reveal a magnificent rose. He said that some of the peeling might hurt but that he would do it patiently, gently, and lovingly.

The unfolding of the rose, my heart, happened with God and of some incredible people that have entered my life. I started attending church regularly and other Christian events. These people have helped me learn more about God, and His Word the bible, how to talk with God that is prayer and help me to do the changes in my life I choose to do in order to love God more and more.

Today I can say that I have found the one who fills all my needs, wants and desires, and that is not my husband, he does try, but the one who successfully fills all those things, in his timing, is God. "

2nd birthdays

The babies are nolonger babies...
They will officially be two years old tomorrow, however we celebrated yesterday. They had a great little party at home with grandparents, God parents and a dear great aunt. Esther loved blowing out her candles and especially loves "her" cake. Turns out that it was not the cake she loved but the gummy bears that I had put on them. Daniel loved seeing the sparkler on his morning pancakes. All went well,... as I am still working on my "Teaching talk" for the conference. I have put a dead line of tnight on it... I will leave with the joy that I can be more creative in blogging in the near future as my writing for the conference will be complete. God Bless,
Roxanne

Daniel's results

Thank you for all your prayers. Again, the doctor is very happy. Daniel 2nd EEG showed as the 1st one that all is normal. His MRI showed beautiful and there is nothing there that is not suppose to be there! Daniel is still on the anti-seizure medication "kepra". However, he has started the self-withdrawal that kids do. He is still taking the dose of 1/2 tablet at morning and night which gave him 20 mg of medication per 1 kg of weight when he first started the medication however he has gained a good amount of weight hence his dose is actually 15mg per kg. As Daniel has no visible side effect from the medication and has been seizure free, even with fever, since he strated the full dose. Hurray. She agreed to keep Daniel on medication until next May. As Jacob is starting school in September he will likely be bringing home more virus then we had last year. Since Daniel seizures are provoked by virus we want Daniel to protected from more seizure.

My 3 minute testimony

I might not be blogging a lot lately, but I am sure doing some writing and typing. so here is step one of what I have been working on. This is what I will be sharing at Friday, July 31st in the evening at the SHE SPEAKS 2009 Conference as my 3 minutes testimony.

"Hi I am Roxanne Paul, I am from Ottawa, Canada were I was born and raised.

One of my favorite things to do as a child was to look at my parents wedding picture album. My parents had met while in high school and I felt an intense pressure to meet my future husband while I was in high school. I went from boyfriend to boyfriend, searching for the guy you would fill all my needs, wants and desires. This lead me to find myself divorced and in major financial debt by the I was in my early twenties.

In the midst of my pleasure seeking to dull the pain of my situation, my mother took me aside. She told me I should go back to the church based youth group I had attended a few years earlier, as at least then I was happy. To get her off my case I promised her that I would go on two conditions 1) that would be on a weekend I was off which were very few, and 2) that it didn't cost to much money.

Within a few days, I received by mail an invitation to a weekend retreat for youth and young adults the cost was about 10$. I figure that was the amount I would spend on a cover for one night at a dance club. And honestly I was tired of the kind of guys I met in dance clubs. So why not see what kind of guys I could meet a this church thing. I looked at my calendar and low and behold it was on a weekend I was off.

Here I was heading off to this gathering, of course wearing one of my best outfits, with my hair and makeup on just right, all ready to meet a great, handsome, polite church guy.

Once there I looked the crowd over, no handsome guy! I took a seat and sighed in desperation. Then I though maybe he is just running late, I would listen to the talk so that I could make small talk with him at brake.

Then minister walked in, I was shocked he was not an ordinary clean cut boring man. He had long hair, piercings, and tattoos, Needless to say he intrigued me. He started his talk but telling us the fast paced life style of needing and wanting everything NOW is not how God intended for us to live and that is why we have so many problems. This all made so much sense to me, I started truly listening to all he and the other speakers were saying.

That weekend I realized so many things:
-that God loved me, the way I had longed to be loved all my life.
-I learned that I was constantly getting hurt in relationship because I was not living the way God designed me to live.
-I realized the love I had been seeking all my life could only be filled by God, not some guy.
-I learned that God love me so much that had sent his son, Jesus to die on the cross , to pay for all my sins, that is all those things I did that hurt my relationship with God. It was those things that I did that made God farther from me, he never left me, it was I would had left him by choices I made.
-But God was giving me an other chance, I accept all Jesus did on the cross for me and told God all my sins. A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders and I felt like a whole new persons.

With all this new knowledge, I knelt down in the chapel and said "God, I give you permission to love me" this was not easy as I had been so hurt by those I loved, but i could not keep going the way I was. As I gave him permission I pleaded with him, to not hurt me and to be very gentle. In my mind I saw the picture of a rose bud being gently opened to reveal a magnificent rose. He said that some of the peeling might hurt but that he would do it patiently, gently, and lovingly.

This happened over the next few years, and in some areas is still happening today.
As I started attending church regularly and attending other Christan gatherings, my life became filled with people that helped me out to learn more about God, and His Word the bible, how to talk with God that is prayer and help me to do the changes in my life I choose to do in order to love God more and more.

Today I have can say that I have found the one who fills all my needs, wants and desires, and that is not my husband, he does try, but the one who successfully fills all those things, in his timing, is God. "

Now to work on the 5 minutes, teaching talk on David.

Trivia answer

David didn;t know at the time of his anointing. He found out in the midst of his exile... 1 Samuel 23 ish.

Old testament trivia

Anyone familiar with Old testament:
When Samuel anoints David, does David realize that this anointing means he is the new King of Israel? Scripture just says he is anointed and the Spirit of the Lord came upon him. David is anointed in front of his father and brothers. That is it. There is no mention of what this anointing mean. Is that because the people knew what it meant without saying it? David is only Israel's second king. The previous king was Saul. Saul was anointed King by Samuel privately and Samuel does tell him that it is a kingship anointing. Is this because he was the first, or not? What I really what to know is does David know he is king when he is hiding away in the caves of the desert hiding from Saul who is trying to kill him?
Please let me ASAP. Thanks.

She Speaks conference

I am on countdown .... 3 weeks until one of my dreams becomes reality. In three weeks, I will be among some incredible women of God who have helped me become who I am and have inspired me to be more then who I am. I am attending the "SHE SPEAKS 2009" conference by Proverbs 31 Ministries. At this conference, I will be soaking in God, and learning and experiencing what He has in store for me. Plus, I will be evaluated on two speaking sessions. One of which is my "3 minutes testimony" on how God has changed my life, and the other is a "5 minutes talk on my favorite Scripture verse".
I have been really struggling with which verse to do... I love "Let the little children come to me," but I kinda want a adult weekend and decided to let that one rest for now. Jacob lead me to discover who is David. Hence, I discovered that even though Saul tried to Kill David many many times, and made David flee his wife and made him hide in the stronghold of the dessert, and eventually made him live and fight wars with the enemy,... When David had the chance to kill Saul, not once but twice he did not kill him! So read the next few post as a work out the details of just how this presentation of only 5 minutes will work out. I have enough for a weekend conference, including charts of what Saul did, how David reacted, how God helped, and how that can look it our lives,... (it's not complete, because I realize that would take way more then five minutes)... I am thinking of starting up another blog for old testament bible study.... Any of you interested in that? Let me know. I might work on that when I get back from North Carolina, if God approves!

4 years old

My oldest son turned 4 years old a few weeks ago.
I must say I think I love "4".
Since the approach of his birthday he has gained so much confidence. That is to say the confidence that all those "older and wiser" mother would tell me he would gain, as they watch my dear son wrap himself in my skirt and not let go of me. That confidence that "other people" predicted he would never gain because I didn't "make" him stay in childcare settings. Well,... here we are at 4 with a son who loves to come and go as he pleases. Mind you he can't always do it, but he is sure enjoying it when he can. Here comes the pleasure of teaching him when it's ok to venture away and when it's best to stay close!
I also love the fact that at 4, Jacob decided to be brave. He used this bravery to sit in the front of our tandem kayak and paddle with a small white paddle. He was a natural at paddling. I guess those years of sitting on our laps and paddling "with us" really paid off. After all he was only a few weeks old, when he was in a Kayak for the first time - nearly gave my in-laws a heart attack!
Overall, I am enjoy teaching Jacob the world and I love his curiosity. I also love the fact that our time is more qualitative, a good thing since our time will diminish in quantity in a few months with the start of school. This last part is the one thing that I don't like about 4. But I think overall it will be good.

Unites States of America

So much for my desire to have the children visit all 10 provinces and 3 territories of their own country before going to another country.
Jacob does have 8 provinces under his belt! The twins a mere 2, but hey...

Yesterday, the children experience the United States of America for the first time.
More precisely some "cross-border" shopping! I know that some of you might be totally against this,... to appease your minds our purpose was to purchase an "American" cell phone to use on our big trip in a few weeks. We did come home with a new DVD for the children one of which we have not seen in the stores in Canada and two really cute tops for me to wear at the conference in a few weeks.

Some of the highlights of the trip include the following:

1) When mom is driving on a big bridge which she does not like doing, especially when the driving surface is metallic with little holes all in it. It feels slippery. and dad whispers to mom so the kids don't hear "at least they have really high curves" The newly four year old will yell out from the back seat in a totally surprise tone "Hey, we're not falling in the water!?" Nothing, like the child blurring out the mother's fear.... Joey laughed and I laughed along nervously.


2) If mom and dad have valid passports and are both travelling by car with their children, the children can enter and leave the United States with Birth Certificates as their sole documentation. All the official websites say the children need passports, however plenty of private website (according to my dear husband) say that all you needs is their birth certificates. So we decide to save some money and try crossing over with only the basic documentation for the children and it worked. Hurray!


3) Children, especially the four year old variety, might very well expect the United State to be a place rather then a collection of places. Meaning, he might be very frustrated and confused at more roads and places to drive to once he arrives at the United States.


4) Even if a child has only seen the occasion pictures of Ronald McDonald's he will still get very excited and fascinated at a live size statue of said character. Pictures to come on facebook albums.


5) If a precious little almost 2 year old little girl is really grumpy stick her in a vehicle and drive several hours and she will be the happiest little girl in the whole world. No lie, this is totally true. This is the same little girl that will tantrum if when we pull up to our house before she has had her fill of a drive.


6) I am starting to relax a little more regarding my attending the SHE SPEAKS 2009 conference as I now feel confident to have a cute business casual top for each of the three days of the conference. Some of my "still in touch with style" friends will be coming over within the next few weeks to help me put some outfits together for the conference. A good old .. play dress up time. Now only if I felt confident about which subject I will speak about during my 3 minutes and 5 minutes judge speaking time!!!!


7) It is frustrating for a nearly 2 year old little girl to be told to tell her parents when she needs to go potty, but when she does there is no potty in sight, or you just past a exit from the highway and the next one is several minutes away. (Esther is potty training and doing well, for simply sake we are doing her first as she is ready. Daniel still thinks potty time is a time of self-discovery!)

illness

It seems like we finally get something figured out and something else happens. Welcome to family life. I am now suffering from a bad ear infections. They pain is very bad, or my threshold for pain is so low from all the other pain in my body. I have been advised to go to the emergency department to have a "wick" inserted into my ear in order for the infection stuff to drain out and the medication to go in.... I really don't feel like another emergency room visit!

Today, was a great day. Daddy and the kids started building a play house / tree house in the back yard. The kids help as they are able to and desire to. They are all excited. Daddy was made it a two layer house, with a fully fence deck for them. A shef and window where they can play store, a ladder to get to the second story and a slide to go down. All so much fun,.... It was a great stress reliever for Joey. and the cost was not that much, as we had collect several of the needed items over time from road side garabage day finds, to family giving us extra lumber,... all great. Thanks everyone.

my kids played with a police offce

I really don`t know what to title this and not make people nervous. On Friday afternoon , while rocking Esther to nap, I felt a severe intense pain in my chest (about where the heart is located). the pain diminished to a less severe pain but was still painful. After calling my mom to know what to do, and calling Joey at work to know what to do,... I called 911.
Jacob freaked out when he heard me say "ambulance" in response to the operators questions "fire, ambulance or police". He was crying and yelling so loud that the operator asked me who that was. I had to explain that this was the 6th ambulance we called for as my children had been ill this winter. "Oh, I understand!" was her reply.
The paramedics arrived, I got sticker with a dozen or so ECG sticker to determine if I had a heart attack or not,... it turned out not. Then the paramedics broke the news that since no one was home to care for the kids they were calling the police to come take care of them. I was so upset,... ok, maybe it is because I have worked with "police officer" in the past,... but just because they are cops does not make them fit to watch little children. What would they do if the kids bit each other,... or cried uncontrollably,.... Anyway,... they was no turning back. Joey was already cycling from work to home and he was probably going as fast as he could. I manage to kiss (through the oxygen mask) and hug Jacob, Esther didn't clue into that Mommy was leaving until I was already out the door and they would let me go and kiss her, Daniel was asleep in his bed.
As the paramedics were finalizing the set up of the ambulance before departing form the street in front of my house, I saw the most beautiful, trusting, calming thing in the world (a that point and time) a dark blue helmet and yes, a burgundy dress shirt just like Joey was wearing that day. The kids were in police care for a little less then 2 minutes. Praise God.
They reassured Joey that is was not cardiac and off I went to the CIVIC hops ital. Once at the civic, I was able to share the testimony of Daniel's healing with the paramedic who was waiting with me to transfer me to the hospital care. Praise God. I was also able to pray for a women in extreme agony.
Eventually, my pain became more severe and I was see. I spent 22 hours in the emergency department, most of them under care as oppose to in the waiting room. I had 2 ECG to check my heart they ruled out a heart attack. They did an ultrasound of my inner organs and all seems fine. They gave me morphine in hospital and gave me a presciption for pain medication when the discharged me.
My family doctor saw me Monday early afternoon. She is sending me to a specialist (how long the wait will be who knows) and is ordering several test all Digestive type testing. I am in a lot of pain, at time in over powers my body and I can hardly move and I shed tears. Jacob constantly asks me if I am ok. What am I suppose to say. On the weekend people told him that I would see my doctor on Monday, and she would help me feel better. Today, Tuesday, he looks all confused and puzzles, "Did you not see your doctor on Monday?"
If I lift the kids or play with them or do anything that requires me to move to much the pain worsens. I did receive some prayers for healing tonight. I do feels a little better. Please pray that the specialist appointment is soon, that the testing required are soon and that everything is figured out and over, preferably before we go on our trip this summer. Also, pray that I able take care for the kids.

truth from babes

I was driving to Church with my three little ones. We were going to meet "Daddy". He was attending a Knight of Columbus meeting and I was going to attend a talk once his meeting was complete. The kids really didn't understand the switch over that was going to take place. They like us are still getting used to the fact that we are now an one vehicle family.
Jacob was asking several questions to try to figure it all out. One of his questions was if I was giving the talk. I replied no. He asked why. I took the opportunity to explain to him that not everyone knows everything. Some people know a lot of things. But no one knows everything. Of course he asked why! I then told him that there is so much to know that it is impossible for one person to know everything. (except God but we didn't get into that) I explain that some people know a lot about some things, and others know a lot about other things, and that it is good for us to listen to one another as this is how you learn about things.
Ok, so I just finished explaining to my child that No one knows everything, nor is it possible or realistic for one to expect to know everything.
A little while in the talk I was listening to.... the speaker said that it No one is Good at everything, and we cannot expect to be good at everything. Of course, my first reaction was why? Then my conversation with Jacob played back in my head.... Ouch! How things come full circle.

Cat

Almost two years ago, when the twins were thinny little babies, I made the choice to give my cat, Eclipse, of 12 years away to a good home. It was heart breaking for me. Eclipse would let her self be tortured by our 2 year old. She need a safe home. For sometime I was releived not to have to worry about her being hurt, and not having to worry about cleaning the cat's liter box, feeding her, and dealing with the cat hair in the house,... But lately I have really missed having a cat. I realize that having a cat htat I can cuddle and who will immediately show me that they are happy because of something I did is wonderful. (Purring in response to my petting in and scratching it). Cuddling a cat makes me be stil, it quiets my soul, is makes me sit and not move (except my hands that are petting the cat). On the long weekend, while visiting friends, I had the pleasure of cuddling not one but two cats. By the end of the weekend, I was finding myself asking God to find a way for me to have a cat.
Less, then a week later, a beautiful balck and white cat showed up on my front step, looking over our front door and asking for me to come out and pet it!!!! This cat which we nicknamed "Kitty" is incredibly friendly, loves children - even the tail pulling variety -, runs off when it has had to much children attention, and was incredibly hungry and lost. Over the course of the weekend, I totally loved this cat. I could not bring him our home, but we made a bed for him in our shed, and gave him some food -once it was obvious he was sticking around. The sad reality came on Sunday evening when our neighbour started complaining about "Kitty" disturbing his outdoor cat "George". I started thinking about the witness I want to be to "George"'s owners. I thought about the fact that a few weeks ago I specifcily prayed about a way to reach out and share God with these neigbhours.... I would be breaking a by-law by having a outdoor cat, and causing some striff with our neighbours. I made a hard decision and followed through with it.
Yesterday, Monday, Kitty clung to me as we drove him to the animal shelter in order to help him find a Mommy and Daddy who will love him and be able to bring him into their home. Daniel cried the whole way to the shelter, that is until he fell asleep. Esther just kept talking about "Cat!". Jacob was very sad, and whated to know when we can have a Cat. "Can we go get another cat, now, today?" And I shed a few tears and pray that someday, we can have an indoor cat again, God willing.

The miracle re: Daniel

When our youngest son, Daniel, was 18 months he experience his first seizure. During the seizure, I immediately cried out to God. The Doctors at the children's hospital were excellent, even thought it appeared to a be a febrile seizure there was some characteristic of the fever that didn't follow this diagnoses. Hence, the doctor sent us for some testing, an EEG.
The EEG was a challenging test to endure. During the course of the test, I wanted to be a heroic mother and tell the technician to stop the test and just leave with my precious little boy who was being held down against his will and begging me for help. But, I felt God tell me "keep doing the test". It was really hard to obey God in this, but I am glad I did.
A few days after the EEG, We had another ambulance ride and a visit to the emergency room. This time Daniel had 2 seizures in one day. This visit to the hospital almost seemed pointless. I felt the doctor was short and impatient with us. No more testing were ordered. I felt really confused.
A few more weeks went by, then Daniel had four seizures in a 24 hours period. We called 911 after the second seizure because he was not breathing. It was a terrify experienced. My husband started artificial respiration's with our little boy of now 20 months. All of this while our two other children are watching. Daniel started breathing on his own before the paramedics arrived but they still felt that we should go to the hospital. I was unsure about going back since the last time seemed so pointless, however the paramedics convinced me it was for the best. I am really glad we went as Daniel has two more seizures while in the hospital. I was holding him in my arms when the third seizure occurred. as we were still waiting to see the doctor, I ran to the nurses desk with Daniel in my arms. They immediately gave him medical attention and order a batch of testing; including a cat scan and some non-routine blood work. Those doctors were glad that the EEG had already been done and that we new the results were normal.
After the new test were ordered and we were waiting for them, a nurse walked in the room to inform us that our daughter, Daniel's twin sister Esther, was in an ambulance on her way to the hospital. She had a seizure. Esther has spiked a fever which caused her to experience a febrile seizure. After a simple exam she was discharged and I brought her home. I took this opportunity to e-mail and facebook some dear friends pleading for prayer and tangible support. We and my parents who were home with the other children were very touched by the love and support we received on that day and the days to come. While I was home, Daniel had another seizure (the fourth) at which point we had agreed to start anti-seizure medication. They wanted to admit him to the hospital but there was no available beds! That very morning we met with a wonderful neurologist who obviously loved our son. She listen to our concerns and based on those and her observation of Daniel she prescribed a medication which is working wonderful for him. We don't even see any side effect. The non-routine blood work mentioned above indicated that Daniel was anemic, hence they ordered more blood work to know the cause of the anemia. As the doctors felt there was no connection between the seizures and the anemia we were discharged and told that we would get the results from our family doctor.
On March 24th, my husbands birthday, we received a phone call from our family doctor urging us to go see her right away. She informed us that Daniel's blood work indicated that his hemoglobin were low. She, the family doctor, arranged for us to be seen by a hematologist the very next morning. While driving home from the family docot rappointment esther had a second seizure due to high fever. I go ther out of the van and in the recover position. An off duty officer stopped to help me. Once the siezure appared over, I put her in back in the van. I was hoping to get home on time to celebrate my husband birthday. But Esther was not herself, and we stopped on the side of thr road and called 911, again. Joey met us on the side of the road and went with Esther to the hospital. We joke, that Esther got Daddy an ambualance ride for his birthday.
The next morning, at the Haematologist, we realized that his hemoglobin's were so low he was in need of an immediate blood transfusion. We returned home a few hours later, only to return to the hospital as Daniel was having difficulty breathing. When we arrived we were immediately admitted to the trauma room. The nurses thanked me for bringing him in as he was a very sick boy! A tried to cry, but couldn't. I really felt God's presence with me.
I had request prayers from many friends, I had request the prayer ministry at our parish to pray for him, the parish prayed for him during mass, Daniel had received the sacrament of anointing of the sick, I knew we were being covered in prayers. I just didn't realize just how much. I found out later that whole parishes in such places as Australia, and Texas were paying for him, a Bishop is Australia was praying for him, in a quite church in Florida friends had a candle burning for him right beside our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament, Lenten missions were being offered up for him,.. The Church was coming together in love to intercede for my little boy and God listen.
By God's grace and action our little Daniel who was in the trauma room and the nurse were saying was very sick all of a sudden became much better. His color return, his breathing settled to a normal rate and he was brought to a regular exam room.
When we return to the hospital for his regular appointment to check his hemoglobin's level, the test indicated that the blood transfusion worked but that his bone marrow was still not producing. We were scheduled for a bone marrow biopsy to test for things such a leukemia and other bone marrow disease. The biopsy was to held on Thursday, April 2nd, the anniversary of the death of John Paul II. Pope John Paul II has had great impact on my life hence,
I took great comfort in the timing of the biopsy, and asked to John Paul II to pray for him and comfort us in these times. I spend time in the presence of the relic of John Paul II, which we have in our chapel. I felt God tell me things were going to be alright. Then Monday morning the phone rang. The hospital called to tell us that the doctor wanted to change the date of the biopsy from Thursday to tomorrow (Tuesday). Somehow, in less then 5 minutes I had all childcare arrangement made and organized for our 2 other children and my husband was able to change his day off from work.
Tuesday morning, the morning of the biopsy, as I sitting in no other place that the bathroom and I was praying. I told God I loved him. I felt God ask me "do you love me because you want me to heal your son, or do you really love me" I felt an ouch moment. I though about it. I then told God " I am having a hard time loving you right now, but I really truly what to love you no matter what happens. but I am having a hard time at it" I then got up and rush off to the hospital.
At the hospital, Daniel had his IV inserted at which time they drew blood for some routine blood work. We were brought to a room to wait for Daniel to be brought into the operation room where he would have the bone marrow biopsy procedure done. About 5 minutes before we were scheduled in the operation room, the doctor came to see us. The biopsy was not needed, God had healed out little boy, his hemoglobin's levels were higher then the previous week and the new hemoglobin cells were in good numbers... his bone marrow was producing new cells! I cried tears of joy, and trembled with gratefulness to God.
This week, a little over one month from the healing, Daniel went for a follow appointment. His blood count and irons levels are great, the doctor could hardly believe it. The Doctors has discharged him from the hematologist clinic as he is completely healed. Thank you God and all those that prayed for us to God.

feeling blah!!!!

I feel like I should only right on her when things are going well and I feel great.... but reality is a feel really yucky lately... I feel like shrinking back in a corner and giving up, I feel tiredbut it seems like it's not physical sleep I need, but an complete infusion of God.... but I don't feel like I am not good enough to go run to him. I know that this is a lie and that God is there waiting for me with opne arms.... but I jsut feel like a wreck. It seems to me that I am more and more seeing the "log" in my own eye... and I hate seeing it. I wish I could just blame the blurring vision and blind spots other people's faults. But....
No,... it's me who has the short temper, and loose it when my little ones bit and hit, it's me that struggle to get up early and have some quiet time with the Lord and do my exercise, it's me that is addicted to food and soft drinks for comfort, it's me who struggles with materialism and the I nned it know syndrom, it's me who rather shrink back and not face potential comflicts, it's me who feels intamated by others expecially men. .... oh why oh why do I need to see all these logs at the same time.... how much can one person handle all at once.... I just pray that somehow God can brake through ...
tonight we had the annual general meeting at our parish... it was incredible how a few parishioners shared things with me that really helped,... things like sharing to take comfort in the Lord and not food/ drink and that they lost 18 lbs in the last few weeks, things like they are working through some not so fun things in their marriage now that they really wish they would of doen 30 some years ago, I people jsut loved the high level of energy that my sweet little daughter showed them.... Plus the praise and worship songs we sung really hit home....
Lord just help me sort through of all this....

Family Camp 2009

We are again helping out with 'Famiy camp" this year theme is St-Paul. The event is taking place June 27th, come for the day or camp out with us on Friday and Saturday night. If interested let me know.

Old Testament

Jacob has been asking us lately who David, Moses, ... are. Hence, I decided to start reading his some of the account of the old testament. I love the old testament and hope to pass this on to our children. Jacob is familiar with Samuel. We did an activity, thanks to St-Paul's Minnesota's family formation preschool program, about Samuel and how he listen to the Lord. I read Jacob the passage of how Samuel found David. That he was just a young boy, but God had a great plan for him. We then kept reading and got to the point when Saul was chasing David to kill him, (I must admit I change the word to hurt him very badly.) because he (Saul) thought David wanted to kill him. Now... in my word...
David and his men (about 400) were hiding in a cave (not sure if all the men were in the cave but some. Some of these men prophosied to David that we would get his revenge on Saul on this day. To me this sounds like David going to kill him, and that since this prophesy is actually from god like they think it is, then he is justified in killing him. After all that is why, Saul and his 3000 men are the reason David is stuck hidding in a cave. ... the account goes to tell us,... that Saul came in the very cave in which David was hidding in to no the less relieve himself (I guess this means use the bathroom, at least that is what I told Jacob.) David goes up to Saul, and .... he decided to be gentle and cut off a piece of his robe! He does not hurt Saul at all. He simply cuts off a part of his robe. (Now this is when I wish I was a bible scolar and knew Hebrew to get all this information to it fullness... but one day, that dream might come true.) So Saul, leaves the cave. Then David goes after Saul waving the peice of Saul's robe and saying something along the lines of "see I am not going to kill you, I could have, but instead I jsut took a piece of your robes for you to understand." Wow,.... would I really be this gentle with a man who caused me to hide! Saul then lets David take his rightfull kingship. Do you think God would of let the kingship come to David that easily if he would of kill Saul????? Saul does dies very shortly after this account. but.... anyhow...
The whole point is the next day Jacob comes up to me and tells me "He had the robe of Saul in his hands!" as we waved his hands in the air.... HE actually listen to the accounts... WOW.

I got to go take care of my three prescious little ones.

The Blood

Here is an exert form a conversation Jacob, 3 1/2, and I had at bedtime a few days ago.

Jacob: "Mommy, you know the red"
Mommy: "Which red?)
Jacob: "you know the red spots on Jesus' hands" as he points with one finger to the palm of his other hand (just were Jesus' wounds are).
Mommy:"yes, the wounds on Jesus' hands are red spot,.... that is from the blood when the nails were put in his hands."
Jacob: "when Jesus died on the cross for us"
Mommy: " Yes, that is right."
Jacob: "That blood is in the cup."
Mommy: "yes, it's Jesus' blood in the cup"

I then explained that blood like water spills and that is why the blood has to be in a cup and cannot just be held like Jesus body.

I love this child, I especially love how he keeps me on my toes! and keeps me thinking.

Maybe, this iswhy i starting to consider studying theology,...


See related blog postdown belowabout the bread!

Tell me about the Bread

I was feeling pretty crummy today. This was due to many factors: Daniel woke up with a low grade fever, so I was concern he would have a seizure; We had a parent meeting at Jacob school (yes, he is going to Junior kindergarten in Sept.) and it just minded me of all the concerns regarding that next step; Esther is simply enjoying challenging me on what seems like ever front; and I simply feel yucky/run down.
We played outside this afternoon. I let the kids make mud in the sand box, this lifted everyone moods. Once changed from getting all wet, me included, we decided to make cookies for daddy. I decided to make a triple batch. I decided to have Jacob help me figure out what 1/4 of a cup of flour was times 3. We used the white board to draw out the fractions and figures it out. Then as I was busy mixing the goods together, Jacob said "Mommy, tell me about the bread". I thought he had said the "red" as we had used the new blue dry-erase marker as opposed to the new red dry-erase marker. But no, he meant the bread. I finally figure it out by his actions: He was standing with his arms over his head and his hands pretending to hold a host. I clued in! "Oh, you mean Jesus" . Then a conversations I didn't expect to have for some time to come happen.
Jacob: Well, it's bread. Jesus is in it, but it's bread, it's not Jesus. Jesus is in the bread. and the cup in not Jesus, Jesus is in it. ... right.
Me: (in oh God is this really happening mind frame) I drop everything I was doing, got down on my knees (dual purpose: to look him straight in the eyes, and as a prayer) "Jacob, when the priest say those words at mass the bread becomes Jesus. Jesus is not in the bread, the bread is Jesus. It is Jesus. It only looks like bread."
Jacob: "why"
Me: (asking for help)... "because some people at mass might get scared (actually I yelled a sound of scared) if they saw Jesus as he, so because Jesus loves us so much he lets us see him as bread. But it's Jesus."
Jacob: "Thank you, Mommy. for telling me about the bread." ) a pause... and then he imitated my sound a scared people and ran into the other room.
I was left in a state of "did this really happen"...
then tonight at the dinner table Jacob started using scenarios of if A does this B will do that, then C will have to do that,... if A does this to B, B will do this A,... ect... Daddy smiled and played with him with the concepts of algebra ... and I just laughed my head off.... it was great.

A cute Daniel story:
After returning from our evening walk in which him and his sister were strapped against their will in the stroller and their older brother rod a tricycle, Daniel asked to have the other tricycle to ride around in the yard. Sure, I got it out for him and sat back down in my chair. He came to get me by the hand and walked me to wear we keep the bike helmets and demand to have a helmet put on his head, as Jacob had on his head when he was riding the tricycle.

Some other great Daniel things: He said his name last week, and he pucker his lips for a kiss today. Praise God. These are two things that were a huge challenge for him.

A cute Esther story:
Yesterday morning, I fought with her about bring her plate and utensils to the counter once she was finished the meal. I actually had to physically help her do it. but... when she was done lunch... she took her bowl, when to the garbage can and started scrapping the leftover food into the garbage can and the proceed to putting her things on the counter. There is hope.

Looking for a liturgy of the hours book

I am looking of a one volume liturgy of the hours at a bargain price. The condition of the book does not matter much, we can fix it. We do the liturgy of the hours on most morning with the children. Our oldest son would love to have his own book, like mommy and daddy. I am thinking of giving it to him as a birthday present. He really doesn't want to turn four - mainly because when your four you go to school - and I think this gift would help. Let me know if you know where I can get one at a good price,... free would even be better.
Our oldest Jacob actually recite by heart part of one of the psalm from Sunday week one today! He knows most of the Canticle of Zacharia, when he feels like it. Sometimes we catch him in our Chapel with one of our liturgy of the hours book on his lap open to the canticle of Zacharia chanting the canticle. This morning I had gotten caught up in doing other things and we had not done our morning prayer. Jacob kept nagging me to do it... I finally gave up and we did morning prayer.... Wow.... He is so amazing to me.
Have a fabulous weekend.

Blessing the house

I caught Jacob playing with water today. I offered to take out our water table and let him play with little people with the water table. His response "No, because I don't want you to see what I am doing?" OH NO.... He had been taking water and pouring out on the carpet in an attempt to bless our home. I told him that is not how you do it. We took out the real Holy Water and Blessed Salt and got a cedar branch from the tree outside and for the next hour or so, we blessed all our property and home... everything got wet and cleaned. He was trilled. I did however realize a theological problem ... Jacob seems confused with "the Father, the SUN, the Holy Spirit".... I tried to talk to him about it today, but it was to vague.... I will keep you posted on how we figure out 1) if he was just being silly with words because he does do that or 2) how we resolve the misconception and the joy of the English language having same sounding words with different meanings.

Memories

It has happened several times that Joey and I are blow away by Jacob's memory. This morning was a great example:
I had slept in due to a soar throat. Joey was filling me in on what he and Daniel had done in the morning. They had been working on animals names and sounds. They did that using one of our puzzles. Daniel then indicated that he was in distress, one of the puzzle pieces was on the floor and he could not reach it from his seat at the table. I picked up the camel. I then remembered to tell Joey that I am thinking Daniel's favorite animal is a camel. He react excitedly when he see them. Ok so where does a 21 month old, living in Ottawa, Canada see camels in the winter... books, nativity scenes, little people,...
Joey then asked Daniel what his favorite animal is. Daniel points to the camel. Joey then says that in a few years we should 'spring' for the camel ride at the Toronto Zoo. Then Jacob says 'hey,... you know the place with the pyramids. Mom you know where you go under the tunnels in the pyramids,.. they have a camel there!" In amazement I respond positively the Children's museum does have a ride-on camel. Now, Jacob has been there about 4 times. It's a great museum, very hands on. The last time they were there was several months ago when I was working on a talk for RCIA and Aunt Jane and Daddy took them. Wow... I praised him on his memory. Now, the only kids I really worked with before my own where all developmental challenged, so I really don't know if this is normal memory stuff or not? But it sure surprises me.

Mom / wife share group

Any of you ladies want to join a mom / wife share group? I really need one, hence I am willing to start one up and lead it. It does have to be on Thursday evenings , because of my family dynamics and a still have to pray about locations. Breastfeed babies welcomed but otherswise no children. Let me know if you would like every week or every other week. More details to those interested as I ponder what all this might be. Let me know if your interested.

Looking for a retreat center

A weekend off??? Wow....
Joey is off on a men's retreat this weekend. I sure hope things go better for us this time then last time this happen. In late Jan, Joey went away and we all got sick. Starting with me. This started the whole series off illness in our home. Let just say we don't want to go back there again.
My parent in laws will be taking the kids for the weekend and I am off. I am debating about taking the weekend to work on some children's book I am trying to write, paint my kitchen, organize our house, or go on a retreat myself.
Any one know of any good retreat centers? I am looking for something were I can walk in the country, do the litrugy of the hours with a group, and perphas get some spiritual direction. Any one have suggestions?

how can this happen - gross

Warning this might want to make you barff!


A whole bunch of us were around Oma's (Joey's grandma's) table talking. Jacob was on my lap cuddling after a long afternoon nap. I was busy talking when all of a sudden I felt something hard and off shaped entering my mouth. I thought "oh how sweet my jacob is trying to feed me a treat from the table?" I look down and screamed he was placing, inside my mouth, a bugar from his nose! GROSS... I was half freaking out and half laughing... I quickly got up ran to the bathroom to find some mouth wash.... Why oh WHY...... the worst is one of the aunt said she saw it coming but was to busy looking for a Kleenex to warn me about it.....

Easter Vigil - Jesus is finaly back!

Jacob talked about the ringing of the bell and the fire from last years Easter Vigil mass, for a whole year. Hence, I didn't have the heart to have him miss the Vigil this year. Grandma and Grandpa took care of Daniel and Esther and the rest of us went to the Vigil.
In the previous years, Jacob feel asleep and sometimes he even slept through the ringing of the bells! Not this year! He was so excited to see that the purple was finaly gone and it (the church) was all white, his favorite color. (Our church really goes all out with the Easter Lilies! It is absolutely beautiful.) But most of all he didn't want to miss "when Jesus is coming back". He was still bothered by the fact that the tabernacle was empty (and the door was wide open, for us all to see how empty it was)!
He Kept asking me if Jesus was back yet. At the moment of consecration of the bread and wine... I told him Jesus was back and that it was Jesus body and blood that we saw. But... he was not content until near the end of mass the priest placed the remain host (Jesus body) in the tabernacle and closed the door. Then Jesus was back and all was good.
Finally Jesus is back... He is alive.
It has been an incredibble journey with our little boy. I love this time and I love to hear more of his insights.

Ressurection Rolls

Jacob and me made these great Tarts. They were meant to be rolls but we didn't things to make rolls so we made them tartsish.

Here is the link that lead me to do the activity. Jacob really got the whole concept that Jesus was not there anymore. (probably didn't help with the yucky heart feeling, see other post).

http://catholiccuisine.blogspot.com/2009/04/resurrection-rolls.html

Basically you take a marshmallow (Jesus - pure white), you it in oil (like the oil they put on Jesus' body), you then roll it in sugar and cinnamon (like the spices they put on Jesus' body), then you place it on the pastry dough and roll in up (like they did with the cloth to Jesus' body), you then place it in the oven (the tomb) and for dramatic effect we moved our garbage can in front of the stove (for the big rock in front of the tomb)... then when they are ready to come out... you call the kids back in and tell them that the big rock was moved something must of happen in the tomb.... you take the desert out, and cut one open and the marshmellow (which melted) is gone... just like Jesus in gone from the tomb... he is alive.

You get the idea... if you want to do it check out the link above.

What does Good Friday mean?

This conversation occurred yesterday (Holy Thursday).


I was busy in the kitchen, when Jacob says "What does Good Friday mean?"

Wow... I have been reading books about spirituality in children. They all say that the child lead moments are the best ones. Here was a child lead moment... I drop everything I was doing, got on my knees to be at Jacob's level... I started... I can't remember excatly what I said (wish I did) but here is about how it went.

Mommy: "Good Friday is the day we remember that Jesus died on the cross for our sins."
(simnple enought right, no.)
Jacob: '"what does that mean?"
Mommy: (oh God help me!) Jesus dying on the cross for our sins means that...
can you tell me one thing that you know you should not do...
Jacob: " hit or pinch" (presently both problems in our home)
Mommy: "right, so right now you know your not suppose to hit or pinch, and you do it anyways. That is a sin. Sin is something you do even when you know your not suppose to do it. You know how Mommy or Daddy gives you a time out when you hit or pinch."
Jacob: (head knotting yes)
Mommy: Well God gives time out, too. If you know you should not pinch and pinch. Then that is a sin and God gives time-out for sins. One from Mommy or Daddy that you have to do, and the oterh from God. So you get two time outs. One from mommy or daddy and one from God. You know how you have two Mommies (Maman and Mama Mary) and two Daddies (Daddy and God the father) well you get two time outs. But... Jesus did all those time out from God for you on the cross, so you don't have to do them. But you need to tell God that you are one of Jesus' forever friends and that he took your time out for you on the cross. (Somewhere in there I made sure to tell him that he still has to do Mommy and Daddy's time outs)
Jacob: still looking right at me....but my time is running out.
Mommy: The evangelist take over and adds "that is why it important to make sure that everyone knows about Jesus so that they don't have to do their time outs when they get to Heaven. Otherwise they will have to wait and not see God. (I didn't get into the whoel wait for a little while (aka purgatory) or wait forever (aka hell).
Jacob: When I go to heaven... you are coming with me, right (this is long lasting, converstaion ... ever since he found out that when you go to heaven you don't come back...)
Mommy: (classic line that is neither a lie, or asnwering the question, but satisfy Jacob)... We will all go to Heaven as long as we are Jesus forever friends and love God with our whole heart.
...
I stood back up,... my darling husband who had been listening in, said job well done! That meant a lot.

Later that evening, as we were drawing on the driveway (with chalk) we drew a cross and wrote in big blue letters (Jacob's favorite colour) Jesus died on the cross for my sins to be forgiven. This morning (Good Friday) he was so happy to see that it was still there.... as we got the twins in the van to go to church, he was hoping all over it,.. spelling out all the letter in Jesus' name.