Well... it's been a while...
Things are crazy.
Joey and I have decided to hire out some help.
We have been blessed with a new community of women in our parish. They are living of God's providence and seeking 10-15 hours of employment a week. Hence, one of them will be starting with our family for a 3 hours a day/ 3 days a week. (yes, it's a little less then what they were seeking, but it's what we can afford for now.) I am really excited about finally getting help. Maybe, now I get kick off this infection and flu like feeling.
Everyone, except Esther are sick. Joey is starting to feel better, but Daniel and Jacob have a terrible cough but only a night.
and the big news is......
you guessed it from the title...
the kids and I actually made it out to 9 am daily mass today and stayed for some time in adoration. We walked in late,... but that was due to traffic not because of not leaving on time.
Jacob did so well. God provided an amazing lady to help feed the babies, and another to help sooth a baby while we packed up.
I remembered that when Jacob was a baby, I would bring a blanket and lay it on the ground just in front of the first pews. (Adoration at our church on Friday mornings is held in the actually church as the chapel is being cleaned.) This allowed me to lie him or later sit him up on the blanket with a few quiet toys and I could pray. I rule was that he was allowed to move around on the blanket but not off the blanket. Well... he remembered that. I had not done that in nearly a year. But I laid a big blanket that could fit all four of us down, and he nearly jump on it, prostrated (layed on his belly) looked up a Jesus,... wow. He moved around on the blanket, but stayed on their even when I would get up to attend to the babies!! I actually got a few minutes to pray, while all three kids were quiet. Thank you God.
I just had to share that one.... and oh yes... Jacob has finally .... done that sign of the cross as we prayed tonight. I am so proud of him. It has been a long time coming, but he's doing it.
Love,
Roxanne
Friday, September 21, 2007
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
bye bye to pictures
Hi all,
I am being obedient to God... I have removed all pictures of the children from my blog.
I really don't know why God has asked this of me other then he has been pestering me about it for days... and something to do with the line of work I used to be in.... and protection.
All I do know, is that I trust him and when he tells me to do something that directly,... and I disobey him, I end up regretting it, ... hence, I know obey.
If you really miss seeing pictures of the children... e-mail me and I will tell you how you can get some.
I will still post thought and things going on, especially as God is moving in our lives in exciting ways at the present.... more to come later, as the adventure unfolds for us all.
Love and God bless you,
Roxanne
I am being obedient to God... I have removed all pictures of the children from my blog.
I really don't know why God has asked this of me other then he has been pestering me about it for days... and something to do with the line of work I used to be in.... and protection.
All I do know, is that I trust him and when he tells me to do something that directly,... and I disobey him, I end up regretting it, ... hence, I know obey.
If you really miss seeing pictures of the children... e-mail me and I will tell you how you can get some.
I will still post thought and things going on, especially as God is moving in our lives in exciting ways at the present.... more to come later, as the adventure unfolds for us all.
Love and God bless you,
Roxanne
Friday, September 7, 2007
Surviving and triving
Joey is gone back to work, and I am home alone with the three kids.
One minute things are wonderful and I think this is a lot easier then I thought it was. I find myself wondering what was I worried about???
Then the other minute arrives and I am pulling my hair out as my toddler is pointing at the babies and on the verge of a melt down himself because he cannot stand hearing them crying anymore and he wonders why his mom can't do anything about it.
YEap !!! this is reality.
But today....
We actually managed a outing to the musuem just me and the kids. We had a great time and we learned that maman is much happier out and about then at home seeing all the things that should be getting down that jsut can't be down. I also learned that when Jacob is busy playing with buttons at the Science and Tech musuem, I can cuddle, kiss and enjoy the smell of my little babies. Hurray.
Praise God for the revelations that are allowing me to survive and even enjoy this time and phase.
Thank you for your prayers.
One minute things are wonderful and I think this is a lot easier then I thought it was. I find myself wondering what was I worried about???
Then the other minute arrives and I am pulling my hair out as my toddler is pointing at the babies and on the verge of a melt down himself because he cannot stand hearing them crying anymore and he wonders why his mom can't do anything about it.
YEap !!! this is reality.
But today....
We actually managed a outing to the musuem just me and the kids. We had a great time and we learned that maman is much happier out and about then at home seeing all the things that should be getting down that jsut can't be down. I also learned that when Jacob is busy playing with buttons at the Science and Tech musuem, I can cuddle, kiss and enjoy the smell of my little babies. Hurray.
Praise God for the revelations that are allowing me to survive and even enjoy this time and phase.
Thank you for your prayers.
Friday, August 31, 2007
mesage from Jacob
JESUS HAS A BELLY BUTTON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jesus has a BELLY BUTTON......................
lol .... JEsus has a BELLY BUTTON...
We visit a church in Carleon Place, ON. They had a kneeler in front of the this statue,...
Jacob looked at it and looked at it.. and then exclaimed and pointed to Jesus belly button.... what a great moment to explained to him that Jesus at one time was on earth as a person just like him and me.
He has been going around telling everyone in his own special way that Jesus has a belly button. What a great evangelist!
Sunday, July 29, 2007
God teaches
Daniel & Esther : our gifts from God.
God is teaching me so much so.
The scripture verse that sticks out is:
"... Every branch that bears fruit He prunes to make it bear more fruit. ..." ( Jn 15:2)
God has answered all my prayers regarding this babies,...
-to be healthy
-making it to full term
-to give birth via our planned c-section
-for the pre-clampsia to be healed (just as it started), even the medical staff where puzzled with that one. One is normally only cured of pre-clampsia by giving birth but mine went away according to them "on it own". But I know that God healed me.
-...
He even granted me, my dream of being rolled down the maternity unit (from recovery to my bed .. which was at the total other end of the floor) with my two babies in my arms.
They were with me the whole time in my room, minus the few times they had baths, or were weighed. I was also thinking that something would happen and they would be taken away,... the same type of feeling of being worried about being woken up from a really good amazing dream.
And we all came home together, on my discharged day.
and to top if of about my neighbours (the parting outside at 3 am neighbours, yes those some neighbours that cause me to have to bring Jacob inside otherwise my toddler is going to be high neighbours,...) are putting their house up for sales. Hurray.
Through all this ... God has taught me to trust him. And to trust that he does speak to me, and most importantly to trust that he speaks to my darling husband.
The biggest thing is that Joey had expressed to me, at around 32 weeks gestational, that he felt God telling him that the babies would not go to the special care nursery. I almost cut his head off, telling him that this was unrealistic. We had recently meat with a neanotologist that felt the babies would be early and thought that 34 weeks gestational would be about as far as we would make it. We showed him wrong. In all our babies didn't go into the special care nursery, they came with us to my room. The miracle that occurred was that a week and a half before my c-section the hospital changed it's policy ... they used to send babies of mother with gestational diabetes to the special care nursery for at least a 24 hours observations, but they changed it to just verifying the babies blood sugar while they are with mom. The first checked after the first breastfeeding session was low, hence they received 1 oz of formula. After which time there checks were all good. Praise God.
Back to God pruning me...
well,... I just assumed that I would be able to breastfeed both our babies as I had abundant milk for Jacob and that he nurses so effectively. I just assumed my babies would be good weights and weight lost would not be an issues...
both here we are weighing that with the rented scale, breastfeeding and then pumping the little breast milk that I do have, and supplementing them with formula, and being really picking about their latches, and desperately trying to wake them up, as they are very sleepy babies.
God is again pruning my sense of perfectionist, and the sense that I need to do a specific task in order to be considered good or adequate (not sure how to spell that). It's not enough that I grew two good size babies in utero and carried them to full term, I want to be able to feed outside of utero as well.... It seems God is teaching me that being a mom is more then breastfeeding.
The reasons my milk is not up to demands of my babies needs,... are partially due to the fact that the diabetes didn't leave after giving birth. We discovered that a few days post-partum and are not trying to stabilize my sugar levels. I am back on insulin. We are praying that it goes away as I loose more weight. The other reason that my milk might not be coming is complete exhaustion.... having to wake the babies every three hours to do a feeding cycle that last approximately 1 1/2 hours - 1 3/4 hours then leaving you with 1 1/2 hours - 45 minutes to go to the bathroom, eat, sleep and occasionally shower is exhausting. My lactation consultant put me on bed rest for 24 hours yesterday. In which my only obligation was to be vertical as much as possible and pump when I felt up to it. I feel much better but still very tired. She felt that this would allow my body to heal and regulate my sugars hence allowing the milk to come in more abundantly.... It still has not, but there is hope.
God reminded me yesterday that I choose Daniel and Esther's name because I wanted them to be strong, courageous, and people that would persevere through challenges and stand up for their convictions,... He then gently told me that in order to rise children with these values I had to have experiences in which I too used them.
Hence, yes the lest just put both babies on formula all the time would be the easiest route to go, but is it what is best for them or is it want I have on my heart to do, no. Hence, perseverance, courage, and the lest try everything we can before giving up route is the one we are choosing to take.
Thank you for all your prayers during these challenging first few weeks.
And praise God that Joey is on paternity leave for these first 6 weeks.
God is teaching me so much so.
The scripture verse that sticks out is:
"... Every branch that bears fruit He prunes to make it bear more fruit. ..." ( Jn 15:2)
God has answered all my prayers regarding this babies,...
-to be healthy
-making it to full term
-to give birth via our planned c-section
-for the pre-clampsia to be healed (just as it started), even the medical staff where puzzled with that one. One is normally only cured of pre-clampsia by giving birth but mine went away according to them "on it own". But I know that God healed me.
-...
He even granted me, my dream of being rolled down the maternity unit (from recovery to my bed .. which was at the total other end of the floor) with my two babies in my arms.
They were with me the whole time in my room, minus the few times they had baths, or were weighed. I was also thinking that something would happen and they would be taken away,... the same type of feeling of being worried about being woken up from a really good amazing dream.
And we all came home together, on my discharged day.
and to top if of about my neighbours (the parting outside at 3 am neighbours, yes those some neighbours that cause me to have to bring Jacob inside otherwise my toddler is going to be high neighbours,...) are putting their house up for sales. Hurray.
Through all this ... God has taught me to trust him. And to trust that he does speak to me, and most importantly to trust that he speaks to my darling husband.
The biggest thing is that Joey had expressed to me, at around 32 weeks gestational, that he felt God telling him that the babies would not go to the special care nursery. I almost cut his head off, telling him that this was unrealistic. We had recently meat with a neanotologist that felt the babies would be early and thought that 34 weeks gestational would be about as far as we would make it. We showed him wrong. In all our babies didn't go into the special care nursery, they came with us to my room. The miracle that occurred was that a week and a half before my c-section the hospital changed it's policy ... they used to send babies of mother with gestational diabetes to the special care nursery for at least a 24 hours observations, but they changed it to just verifying the babies blood sugar while they are with mom. The first checked after the first breastfeeding session was low, hence they received 1 oz of formula. After which time there checks were all good. Praise God.
Back to God pruning me...
well,... I just assumed that I would be able to breastfeed both our babies as I had abundant milk for Jacob and that he nurses so effectively. I just assumed my babies would be good weights and weight lost would not be an issues...
both here we are weighing that with the rented scale, breastfeeding and then pumping the little breast milk that I do have, and supplementing them with formula, and being really picking about their latches, and desperately trying to wake them up, as they are very sleepy babies.
God is again pruning my sense of perfectionist, and the sense that I need to do a specific task in order to be considered good or adequate (not sure how to spell that). It's not enough that I grew two good size babies in utero and carried them to full term, I want to be able to feed outside of utero as well.... It seems God is teaching me that being a mom is more then breastfeeding.
The reasons my milk is not up to demands of my babies needs,... are partially due to the fact that the diabetes didn't leave after giving birth. We discovered that a few days post-partum and are not trying to stabilize my sugar levels. I am back on insulin. We are praying that it goes away as I loose more weight. The other reason that my milk might not be coming is complete exhaustion.... having to wake the babies every three hours to do a feeding cycle that last approximately 1 1/2 hours - 1 3/4 hours then leaving you with 1 1/2 hours - 45 minutes to go to the bathroom, eat, sleep and occasionally shower is exhausting. My lactation consultant put me on bed rest for 24 hours yesterday. In which my only obligation was to be vertical as much as possible and pump when I felt up to it. I feel much better but still very tired. She felt that this would allow my body to heal and regulate my sugars hence allowing the milk to come in more abundantly.... It still has not, but there is hope.
God reminded me yesterday that I choose Daniel and Esther's name because I wanted them to be strong, courageous, and people that would persevere through challenges and stand up for their convictions,... He then gently told me that in order to rise children with these values I had to have experiences in which I too used them.
Hence, yes the lest just put both babies on formula all the time would be the easiest route to go, but is it what is best for them or is it want I have on my heart to do, no. Hence, perseverance, courage, and the lest try everything we can before giving up route is the one we are choosing to take.
Thank you for all your prayers during these challenging first few weeks.
And praise God that Joey is on paternity leave for these first 6 weeks.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
52 hours or less
In 52 hours or less, I will be rolled in to the operating room for the surgery I wish I could have avoided. But,... God is God and he knows what he is doing.
The most amazing comforting news came to me on Monday. The hospital has changed it's policy in the last few weeks regarding babies born to gestational diabetic mothers. They use to take our babies almost right away to the special care nursery for observation for a 24 hour period. They know just simply check their blood glucose level at delivery and if all is good we get to stay together. They can come with me to recovery and then to my room, where they are checked a few more times. They can still end up in the special care nursery (NICU) if they need to (blood glucose is to low, or they have a hard time breathing) but they no longer punish me for being gestational diabetic and take my babies away from me.
Joey and I are know starting to adjust to the idea that we actually might be the ones dealing with the first few newborn poo's, which are like tar, and I read the section on breastfeeding heathy full term babies for the first time, since I was pregnant with Jacob. This time I had focused on breastfeeding issues related to premature babies and BF while your babies are in the special care nursery (NICU).
The other amazing miracle God has accomplished for us,... is that all my symptoms of pre-clampsia (toxemia) are now gone. I received the sacrament of the sick, and lots of people have been praying and God has healed me. Wow.... God is good.
I will try to get Joey to post some pictures of Daniel and Esther over the weekend... hence, stay posted.
God bless you all.
The most amazing comforting news came to me on Monday. The hospital has changed it's policy in the last few weeks regarding babies born to gestational diabetic mothers. They use to take our babies almost right away to the special care nursery for observation for a 24 hour period. They know just simply check their blood glucose level at delivery and if all is good we get to stay together. They can come with me to recovery and then to my room, where they are checked a few more times. They can still end up in the special care nursery (NICU) if they need to (blood glucose is to low, or they have a hard time breathing) but they no longer punish me for being gestational diabetic and take my babies away from me.
Joey and I are know starting to adjust to the idea that we actually might be the ones dealing with the first few newborn poo's, which are like tar, and I read the section on breastfeeding heathy full term babies for the first time, since I was pregnant with Jacob. This time I had focused on breastfeeding issues related to premature babies and BF while your babies are in the special care nursery (NICU).
The other amazing miracle God has accomplished for us,... is that all my symptoms of pre-clampsia (toxemia) are now gone. I received the sacrament of the sick, and lots of people have been praying and God has healed me. Wow.... God is good.
I will try to get Joey to post some pictures of Daniel and Esther over the weekend... hence, stay posted.
God bless you all.
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