Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Cat

Almost two years ago, when the twins were thinny little babies, I made the choice to give my cat, Eclipse, of 12 years away to a good home. It was heart breaking for me. Eclipse would let her self be tortured by our 2 year old. She need a safe home. For sometime I was releived not to have to worry about her being hurt, and not having to worry about cleaning the cat's liter box, feeding her, and dealing with the cat hair in the house,... But lately I have really missed having a cat. I realize that having a cat htat I can cuddle and who will immediately show me that they are happy because of something I did is wonderful. (Purring in response to my petting in and scratching it). Cuddling a cat makes me be stil, it quiets my soul, is makes me sit and not move (except my hands that are petting the cat). On the long weekend, while visiting friends, I had the pleasure of cuddling not one but two cats. By the end of the weekend, I was finding myself asking God to find a way for me to have a cat.
Less, then a week later, a beautiful balck and white cat showed up on my front step, looking over our front door and asking for me to come out and pet it!!!! This cat which we nicknamed "Kitty" is incredibly friendly, loves children - even the tail pulling variety -, runs off when it has had to much children attention, and was incredibly hungry and lost. Over the course of the weekend, I totally loved this cat. I could not bring him our home, but we made a bed for him in our shed, and gave him some food -once it was obvious he was sticking around. The sad reality came on Sunday evening when our neighbour started complaining about "Kitty" disturbing his outdoor cat "George". I started thinking about the witness I want to be to "George"'s owners. I thought about the fact that a few weeks ago I specifcily prayed about a way to reach out and share God with these neigbhours.... I would be breaking a by-law by having a outdoor cat, and causing some striff with our neighbours. I made a hard decision and followed through with it.
Yesterday, Monday, Kitty clung to me as we drove him to the animal shelter in order to help him find a Mommy and Daddy who will love him and be able to bring him into their home. Daniel cried the whole way to the shelter, that is until he fell asleep. Esther just kept talking about "Cat!". Jacob was very sad, and whated to know when we can have a Cat. "Can we go get another cat, now, today?" And I shed a few tears and pray that someday, we can have an indoor cat again, God willing.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

The miracle re: Daniel

When our youngest son, Daniel, was 18 months he experience his first seizure. During the seizure, I immediately cried out to God. The Doctors at the children's hospital were excellent, even thought it appeared to a be a febrile seizure there was some characteristic of the fever that didn't follow this diagnoses. Hence, the doctor sent us for some testing, an EEG.
The EEG was a challenging test to endure. During the course of the test, I wanted to be a heroic mother and tell the technician to stop the test and just leave with my precious little boy who was being held down against his will and begging me for help. But, I felt God tell me "keep doing the test". It was really hard to obey God in this, but I am glad I did.
A few days after the EEG, We had another ambulance ride and a visit to the emergency room. This time Daniel had 2 seizures in one day. This visit to the hospital almost seemed pointless. I felt the doctor was short and impatient with us. No more testing were ordered. I felt really confused.
A few more weeks went by, then Daniel had four seizures in a 24 hours period. We called 911 after the second seizure because he was not breathing. It was a terrify experienced. My husband started artificial respiration's with our little boy of now 20 months. All of this while our two other children are watching. Daniel started breathing on his own before the paramedics arrived but they still felt that we should go to the hospital. I was unsure about going back since the last time seemed so pointless, however the paramedics convinced me it was for the best. I am really glad we went as Daniel has two more seizures while in the hospital. I was holding him in my arms when the third seizure occurred. as we were still waiting to see the doctor, I ran to the nurses desk with Daniel in my arms. They immediately gave him medical attention and order a batch of testing; including a cat scan and some non-routine blood work. Those doctors were glad that the EEG had already been done and that we new the results were normal.
After the new test were ordered and we were waiting for them, a nurse walked in the room to inform us that our daughter, Daniel's twin sister Esther, was in an ambulance on her way to the hospital. She had a seizure. Esther has spiked a fever which caused her to experience a febrile seizure. After a simple exam she was discharged and I brought her home. I took this opportunity to e-mail and facebook some dear friends pleading for prayer and tangible support. We and my parents who were home with the other children were very touched by the love and support we received on that day and the days to come. While I was home, Daniel had another seizure (the fourth) at which point we had agreed to start anti-seizure medication. They wanted to admit him to the hospital but there was no available beds! That very morning we met with a wonderful neurologist who obviously loved our son. She listen to our concerns and based on those and her observation of Daniel she prescribed a medication which is working wonderful for him. We don't even see any side effect. The non-routine blood work mentioned above indicated that Daniel was anemic, hence they ordered more blood work to know the cause of the anemia. As the doctors felt there was no connection between the seizures and the anemia we were discharged and told that we would get the results from our family doctor.
On March 24th, my husbands birthday, we received a phone call from our family doctor urging us to go see her right away. She informed us that Daniel's blood work indicated that his hemoglobin were low. She, the family doctor, arranged for us to be seen by a hematologist the very next morning. While driving home from the family docot rappointment esther had a second seizure due to high fever. I go ther out of the van and in the recover position. An off duty officer stopped to help me. Once the siezure appared over, I put her in back in the van. I was hoping to get home on time to celebrate my husband birthday. But Esther was not herself, and we stopped on the side of thr road and called 911, again. Joey met us on the side of the road and went with Esther to the hospital. We joke, that Esther got Daddy an ambualance ride for his birthday.
The next morning, at the Haematologist, we realized that his hemoglobin's were so low he was in need of an immediate blood transfusion. We returned home a few hours later, only to return to the hospital as Daniel was having difficulty breathing. When we arrived we were immediately admitted to the trauma room. The nurses thanked me for bringing him in as he was a very sick boy! A tried to cry, but couldn't. I really felt God's presence with me.
I had request prayers from many friends, I had request the prayer ministry at our parish to pray for him, the parish prayed for him during mass, Daniel had received the sacrament of anointing of the sick, I knew we were being covered in prayers. I just didn't realize just how much. I found out later that whole parishes in such places as Australia, and Texas were paying for him, a Bishop is Australia was praying for him, in a quite church in Florida friends had a candle burning for him right beside our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament, Lenten missions were being offered up for him,.. The Church was coming together in love to intercede for my little boy and God listen.
By God's grace and action our little Daniel who was in the trauma room and the nurse were saying was very sick all of a sudden became much better. His color return, his breathing settled to a normal rate and he was brought to a regular exam room.
When we return to the hospital for his regular appointment to check his hemoglobin's level, the test indicated that the blood transfusion worked but that his bone marrow was still not producing. We were scheduled for a bone marrow biopsy to test for things such a leukemia and other bone marrow disease. The biopsy was to held on Thursday, April 2nd, the anniversary of the death of John Paul II. Pope John Paul II has had great impact on my life hence,
I took great comfort in the timing of the biopsy, and asked to John Paul II to pray for him and comfort us in these times. I spend time in the presence of the relic of John Paul II, which we have in our chapel. I felt God tell me things were going to be alright. Then Monday morning the phone rang. The hospital called to tell us that the doctor wanted to change the date of the biopsy from Thursday to tomorrow (Tuesday). Somehow, in less then 5 minutes I had all childcare arrangement made and organized for our 2 other children and my husband was able to change his day off from work.
Tuesday morning, the morning of the biopsy, as I sitting in no other place that the bathroom and I was praying. I told God I loved him. I felt God ask me "do you love me because you want me to heal your son, or do you really love me" I felt an ouch moment. I though about it. I then told God " I am having a hard time loving you right now, but I really truly what to love you no matter what happens. but I am having a hard time at it" I then got up and rush off to the hospital.
At the hospital, Daniel had his IV inserted at which time they drew blood for some routine blood work. We were brought to a room to wait for Daniel to be brought into the operation room where he would have the bone marrow biopsy procedure done. About 5 minutes before we were scheduled in the operation room, the doctor came to see us. The biopsy was not needed, God had healed out little boy, his hemoglobin's levels were higher then the previous week and the new hemoglobin cells were in good numbers... his bone marrow was producing new cells! I cried tears of joy, and trembled with gratefulness to God.
This week, a little over one month from the healing, Daniel went for a follow appointment. His blood count and irons levels are great, the doctor could hardly believe it. The Doctors has discharged him from the hematologist clinic as he is completely healed. Thank you God and all those that prayed for us to God.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

feeling blah!!!!

I feel like I should only right on her when things are going well and I feel great.... but reality is a feel really yucky lately... I feel like shrinking back in a corner and giving up, I feel tiredbut it seems like it's not physical sleep I need, but an complete infusion of God.... but I don't feel like I am not good enough to go run to him. I know that this is a lie and that God is there waiting for me with opne arms.... but I jsut feel like a wreck. It seems to me that I am more and more seeing the "log" in my own eye... and I hate seeing it. I wish I could just blame the blurring vision and blind spots other people's faults. But....
No,... it's me who has the short temper, and loose it when my little ones bit and hit, it's me that struggle to get up early and have some quiet time with the Lord and do my exercise, it's me that is addicted to food and soft drinks for comfort, it's me who struggles with materialism and the I nned it know syndrom, it's me who rather shrink back and not face potential comflicts, it's me who feels intamated by others expecially men. .... oh why oh why do I need to see all these logs at the same time.... how much can one person handle all at once.... I just pray that somehow God can brake through ...
tonight we had the annual general meeting at our parish... it was incredible how a few parishioners shared things with me that really helped,... things like sharing to take comfort in the Lord and not food/ drink and that they lost 18 lbs in the last few weeks, things like they are working through some not so fun things in their marriage now that they really wish they would of doen 30 some years ago, I people jsut loved the high level of energy that my sweet little daughter showed them.... Plus the praise and worship songs we sung really hit home....
Lord just help me sort through of all this....

Family Camp 2009

We are again helping out with 'Famiy camp" this year theme is St-Paul. The event is taking place June 27th, come for the day or camp out with us on Friday and Saturday night. If interested let me know.