Paul Family update

I can hardly belive that my last entry was Sept 21st

We are now well into the advent season....
The kids are all doing amazingly well, and are awaiting the birth of Christ....

Jacob totally gets the concept that Mary has a baby in her belly,... I wonder if he thinks that she has two like I did, or that if baby Jesus will be a real baby coming to stay with us!
He keeps on growing taller and taller. He grew 1/2" in a two week period!!! He is now 36 lbs and 39" tall. His language skills are developing with please being added onto the no and yes. It is so hard to stay firm with him when he keeps saying "no, pleeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaseeeeee! no, plllllllllleeeeeeeeeeesaaaaaaaasssssssse!" over and over again. He is on the waiting list for a speech assement at the Childretn's Hopsital of Estearn Ontario (CHEO) as there are a few concerns but with the sign language and speech he has those close to him can understangd him.
He will also be visiting CHEO for a day surgery on in mid January. Please keep him and especially Maman's nerves during this period of time.
Jacob has adjusted to the role of big brother, and is a great source of amazament and joy to his brother and sister. The tough part is to remember who likes being bounced in the jolly jumper and who hates it.


Daniel is sitting up, and loving it. He is now 26 3/8" tall and weighes more then 16 lbs. (he is probably closer to 17 1/2 now). He has a contagious smile and laugh - some say he had my laugh. He actually goes into full giggles... oh how fun life is. He is totally in the "oh! Maman I am in love with you" mode that only an baby can be and I am eating it all up.

Esther is beautiful,... she continuusly reminds me that calm and relax is beautiful. She is also 26 3/8 " and over 16 lbs. (probably closer to 17 1/2 as well). Her hair is still growing very beautifly. She is rolling over from back to front and lifting up her head and trying to get her knees under her.... oh no!!! I can just image two crawlers in the house at the same time.
She also has a beautiful smile and laugh. She seems to have been gifted the voice of angels as she is singing.

Joey's work is going well. We just had his annual Christmas party which was a great time of dinner with friends / collegues and dancing. Grandpa and Grandma took the challenge of having all three children for a sleep over. Thank you, Thank you and Thank you. It was very rejuvanating time.


I am adjusting to being a mom of 3 little children and I have decided that I am not a stay at home mom but a home maker. This all started with Jacob learning the word home and loving it. I started contemplating what home was.... then I was watching deleted scened of "The incredible" and Elastica girl says she is a home maker. Humm..... Yes, what I do all day is making a home for my family.... A home is so important.... You can live in any house, but how precious is your HOME.... anyhow it goes deper then that but... I have to run... as I have an opportunity this evening to go pray in my children's future school.


We decided to remain in our home and not move to a bigger house. But make this house more efficient in space.
Hence, We are in full renovations at the house. We are almost done finishing the garage which we will use as a mud room (lots of space to take on and off boots, coats, mitts, hats, ect....) and a great place for the exercise equipment. We will wait for the spring to mud the drywall and paint, but otherwise, it should be done by the end of this coming weekend.
We will be doing the basement renovations over the Christmas break. Please pray for my sanity as 1/3 of the content of our home is merge with the remaing 2/3 as we redo the basement.
To top it off, I am still trying to finish the main floor bathroom. It is functioning but needs some mudding and painting. AH! and those kitchen cabinets still need to be finished painting....
Like we are not busy enough with the 3 children under 2 1/2 yrs. of age.... I tell Joey that when we will look over this period of time in our lifes we will wonder how we ever pulled it all off.
With God's help!!!

OH! for all of you in town, our small community (prayer group) is hosting a Family Pot luck, Adoration and Benediction evening on New Years eve. Mass is at 5 pm, dinner at 6pm and adoration at 7:30 pm... see you there. (Please make pot luck contribution nut free, as some of the children have severe nut allergies. Thank you.)

with love,
Roxanne

Hopefully I will be back before another 2 1/2 months expires.
If you want pictures of the children e-mail me and I will send some to you.

adoration

Well... it's been a while...
Things are crazy.
Joey and I have decided to hire out some help.
We have been blessed with a new community of women in our parish. They are living of God's providence and seeking 10-15 hours of employment a week. Hence, one of them will be starting with our family for a 3 hours a day/ 3 days a week. (yes, it's a little less then what they were seeking, but it's what we can afford for now.) I am really excited about finally getting help. Maybe, now I get kick off this infection and flu like feeling.
Everyone, except Esther are sick. Joey is starting to feel better, but Daniel and Jacob have a terrible cough but only a night.
and the big news is......

you guessed it from the title...
the kids and I actually made it out to 9 am daily mass today and stayed for some time in adoration. We walked in late,... but that was due to traffic not because of not leaving on time.
Jacob did so well. God provided an amazing lady to help feed the babies, and another to help sooth a baby while we packed up.

I remembered that when Jacob was a baby, I would bring a blanket and lay it on the ground just in front of the first pews. (Adoration at our church on Friday mornings is held in the actually church as the chapel is being cleaned.) This allowed me to lie him or later sit him up on the blanket with a few quiet toys and I could pray. I rule was that he was allowed to move around on the blanket but not off the blanket. Well... he remembered that. I had not done that in nearly a year. But I laid a big blanket that could fit all four of us down, and he nearly jump on it, prostrated (layed on his belly) looked up a Jesus,... wow. He moved around on the blanket, but stayed on their even when I would get up to attend to the babies!! I actually got a few minutes to pray, while all three kids were quiet. Thank you God.

I just had to share that one.... and oh yes... Jacob has finally .... done that sign of the cross as we prayed tonight. I am so proud of him. It has been a long time coming, but he's doing it.

Love,
Roxanne

bye bye to pictures

Hi all,
I am being obedient to God... I have removed all pictures of the children from my blog.
I really don't know why God has asked this of me other then he has been pestering me about it for days... and something to do with the line of work I used to be in.... and protection.
All I do know, is that I trust him and when he tells me to do something that directly,... and I disobey him, I end up regretting it, ... hence, I know obey.
If you really miss seeing pictures of the children... e-mail me and I will tell you how you can get some.
I will still post thought and things going on, especially as God is moving in our lives in exciting ways at the present.... more to come later, as the adventure unfolds for us all.
Love and God bless you,
Roxanne

Surviving and triving

Joey is gone back to work, and I am home alone with the three kids.

One minute things are wonderful and I think this is a lot easier then I thought it was. I find myself wondering what was I worried about???

Then the other minute arrives and I am pulling my hair out as my toddler is pointing at the babies and on the verge of a melt down himself because he cannot stand hearing them crying anymore and he wonders why his mom can't do anything about it.

YEap !!! this is reality.

But today....

We actually managed a outing to the musuem just me and the kids. We had a great time and we learned that maman is much happier out and about then at home seeing all the things that should be getting down that jsut can't be down. I also learned that when Jacob is busy playing with buttons at the Science and Tech musuem, I can cuddle, kiss and enjoy the smell of my little babies. Hurray.

Praise God for the revelations that are allowing me to survive and even enjoy this time and phase.

Thank you for your prayers.

toilet training

Do you think I can use this picture in any way to motive my dear son to go potty?

mesage from Jacob

JESUS HAS A BELLY BUTTON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jesus has a BELLY BUTTON......................

lol .... JEsus has a BELLY BUTTON...

We visit a church in Carleon Place, ON. They had a kneeler in front of the this statue,...

Jacob looked at it and looked at it.. and then exclaimed and pointed to Jesus belly button.... what a great moment to explained to him that Jesus at one time was on earth as a person just like him and me.

He has been going around telling everyone in his own special way that Jesus has a belly button. What a great evangelist!

God teaches

Daniel & Esther : our gifts from God.


God is teaching me so much so.

The scripture verse that sticks out is:
"... Every branch that bears fruit He prunes to make it bear more fruit. ..." ( Jn 15:2)




God has answered all my prayers regarding this babies,...

-to be healthy
-making it to full term
-to give birth via our planned c-section
-for the pre-clampsia to be healed (just as it started), even the medical staff where puzzled with that one. One is normally only cured of pre-clampsia by giving birth but mine went away according to them "on it own". But I know that God healed me.
-...

He even granted me, my dream of being rolled down the maternity unit (from recovery to my bed .. which was at the total other end of the floor) with my two babies in my arms.
They were with me the whole time in my room, minus the few times they had baths, or were weighed. I was also thinking that something would happen and they would be taken away,... the same type of feeling of being worried about being woken up from a really good amazing dream.
And we all came home together, on my discharged day.

and to top if of about my neighbours (the parting outside at 3 am neighbours, yes those some neighbours that cause me to have to bring Jacob inside otherwise my toddler is going to be high neighbours,...) are putting their house up for sales. Hurray.

Through all this ... God has taught me to trust him. And to trust that he does speak to me, and most importantly to trust that he speaks to my darling husband.
The biggest thing is that Joey had expressed to me, at around 32 weeks gestational, that he felt God telling him that the babies would not go to the special care nursery. I almost cut his head off, telling him that this was unrealistic. We had recently meat with a neanotologist that felt the babies would be early and thought that 34 weeks gestational would be about as far as we would make it. We showed him wrong. In all our babies didn't go into the special care nursery, they came with us to my room. The miracle that occurred was that a week and a half before my c-section the hospital changed it's policy ... they used to send babies of mother with gestational diabetes to the special care nursery for at least a 24 hours observations, but they changed it to just verifying the babies blood sugar while they are with mom. The first checked after the first breastfeeding session was low, hence they received 1 oz of formula. After which time there checks were all good. Praise God.

Back to God pruning me...
well,... I just assumed that I would be able to breastfeed both our babies as I had abundant milk for Jacob and that he nurses so effectively. I just assumed my babies would be good weights and weight lost would not be an issues...
both here we are weighing that with the rented scale, breastfeeding and then pumping the little breast milk that I do have, and supplementing them with formula, and being really picking about their latches, and desperately trying to wake them up, as they are very sleepy babies.
God is again pruning my sense of perfectionist, and the sense that I need to do a specific task in order to be considered good or adequate (not sure how to spell that). It's not enough that I grew two good size babies in utero and carried them to full term, I want to be able to feed outside of utero as well.... It seems God is teaching me that being a mom is more then breastfeeding.

The reasons my milk is not up to demands of my babies needs,... are partially due to the fact that the diabetes didn't leave after giving birth. We discovered that a few days post-partum and are not trying to stabilize my sugar levels. I am back on insulin. We are praying that it goes away as I loose more weight. The other reason that my milk might not be coming is complete exhaustion.... having to wake the babies every three hours to do a feeding cycle that last approximately 1 1/2 hours - 1 3/4 hours then leaving you with 1 1/2 hours - 45 minutes to go to the bathroom, eat, sleep and occasionally shower is exhausting. My lactation consultant put me on bed rest for 24 hours yesterday. In which my only obligation was to be vertical as much as possible and pump when I felt up to it. I feel much better but still very tired. She felt that this would allow my body to heal and regulate my sugars hence allowing the milk to come in more abundantly.... It still has not, but there is hope.

God reminded me yesterday that I choose Daniel and Esther's name because I wanted them to be strong, courageous, and people that would persevere through challenges and stand up for their convictions,... He then gently told me that in order to rise children with these values I had to have experiences in which I too used them.
Hence, yes the lest just put both babies on formula all the time would be the easiest route to go, but is it what is best for them or is it want I have on my heart to do, no. Hence, perseverance, courage, and the lest try everything we can before giving up route is the one we are choosing to take.

Thank you for all your prayers during these challenging first few weeks.
And praise God that Joey is on paternity leave for these first 6 weeks.

52 hours or less

In 52 hours or less, I will be rolled in to the operating room for the surgery I wish I could have avoided. But,... God is God and he knows what he is doing.
The most amazing comforting news came to me on Monday. The hospital has changed it's policy in the last few weeks regarding babies born to gestational diabetic mothers. They use to take our babies almost right away to the special care nursery for observation for a 24 hour period. They know just simply check their blood glucose level at delivery and if all is good we get to stay together. They can come with me to recovery and then to my room, where they are checked a few more times. They can still end up in the special care nursery (NICU) if they need to (blood glucose is to low, or they have a hard time breathing) but they no longer punish me for being gestational diabetic and take my babies away from me.
Joey and I are know starting to adjust to the idea that we actually might be the ones dealing with the first few newborn poo's, which are like tar, and I read the section on breastfeeding heathy full term babies for the first time, since I was pregnant with Jacob. This time I had focused on breastfeeding issues related to premature babies and BF while your babies are in the special care nursery (NICU).
The other amazing miracle God has accomplished for us,... is that all my symptoms of pre-clampsia (toxemia) are now gone. I received the sacrament of the sick, and lots of people have been praying and God has healed me. Wow.... God is good.
I will try to get Joey to post some pictures of Daniel and Esther over the weekend... hence, stay posted.
God bless you all.

Still in utero

Some of you have received e-mail or phone calls stating that we were heading in to the hospital to have the babies either Thursday night or Friday.
We did go to the hospital... but they sent us home. That is after monitoring the babies and receiving result of yet again more blood work. It turns out that "it looks like toximia but we are not sure" is what the doctor said. I have some symptoms but not enought to formaly lable it as toximia. Hence, they are keeping a close eye on me,... I had to go back in for monitoring and blood work today and I will go in on Monday. Wednesday I have my regular appointment at the hosptial and Friday morning is my planned c-section date. We should of really bought a monthly parking pass for July. Oh Well.... Thank God we have health care covering all the other expenses.
Keep posted and we will let you know what is going on. Thank you for all your prayers.
Roxanne

Less then 8 days to go or less...

As we guessed are little darlings are getting close to the 8 lbs mark.
Yesterday: Daniel weighed approx. 7 lbs and 8 oz and Esther weighed in at 7 lbs.
Meaning I am now carrying 14 lbs and 8 oz. (a gain of 2 lbs and 2 oz) no wonder I am starting to get uncomfortable. Both babies are doing well, maman is getting very tired easily,...But I am loving this nesting phase... the house is so organized!!!!! I think God gave us this nesting period before giving birth because He knows that the cleaning will take a back seat to the caring of babies,... hence, the cleaning the home before babies arrive the better,... or so I am saying to myself. Anyhow, it's time for afternoon nap.

What is 12 lbs and 6 oz?

The combine weigh of Esther and Daniel.
Yes, at 34 weeks and 5 days gestational, our little girl weight is 6 lbs 5 oz and our little boys is 6lbs and 1 oz.
Hence, we had a little chat with the doctor about doing a earlier c-section, as we had discuss in mid- pregnancy if the babies would be close to 7 lbs. He informed me that he lied to me. Yes, you read right, he out right said "No, I lied, I would not do that". You can image my frustration level. So unless, a miracle happens and my cervix decided that it might one day get thin and even consider dialating (it is still as thick, long and closed as it was at 20 weeks gestational) I will have to keep lovingly caring these two babies, and feel that growth to what we are guessing will be 8 lbs babies!!!!!!!!!!!!
God please help me.

34 weeks and 3 days,... according to my body it is time to give birth.

According to the doctors I can still go a few more weeks,... I wonder I much bigger I will be. I only have 1 1/2 inches to grow out and I can nolonger drive becasue my belly will rub up against the steering wheel.

Here I am 33 weeks pregnant and wishing I could still sleep on my back. Oh! Well.

Rules according to Jacob

As soon as you see an ant, you must immediately....
1) lie flat on your stomach no matter where you are, at the park, on the sidewalk, on the deck,.... 2) then you must stare at it, for as long as you can possibly see it.

When you talk on the telephone you must...
talk about cat and flowers. Don't worry it is easy. You make the sign for cat and or flower and the person caring for you tell the person on the phone what sign you just made. Then the person who you are talking to will talk to you about the cat and/or flowers in their life. It is very exciting. If they start talking about anything else,... just repeat the sign and your back on track.

When outside you must protect the birds and their feeding places from intruders....
hence you must be on guard for any possible intruders and scare them away,... this mean black squirrels, grey squirrels, and cats. Chipmucks are OK, they can eat the seeds that are on the ground. After all they are small.

When inside the house, your job is to make sure that you are always in sight of the cat...
as you need to reminded your parents or grandparents that the cat needs help, to go outside or to have more food, or to have cuddles.


When the pantry door is open,... you need to stand very tall and see how much more you have grown.... in order for see if you can finally go down the slide at the wave pool!!! (3 more inches to go, I am now three feet tall!!!!)


And Maman puts you down for nap time, not Daddy. Daddy puts me to bed for the night time sleep, not Maman!!!

The visitation

"Do we need to come take the hospital tour? As we were here a little less then 2 years ago to give birth to our son?" was one of the questions we asked at our last pre-natal check up. The Doctor was confident that we didn't need to repeat this hospital tour, after all since the SARS outbreak the tour is a virtual tour done via video.
But a tour we did get, an up close and personal tour. One of the labour and delivery room, one of being monitored and made to be on my back for close to 10 hours, and one of being admitted to the hospital for two days. No panic, the babies are doing great and are still in utero. Thank you God!!!
I caught the "Norwalk virus" (not sure if that is the correct spelling or not) but it is a nasty gastro-intestinal virus. I started symptoms at 12:00 am on the Sunday to Monday overnight, by 3 am I knew we needed to go into the hospital, things were not looking good.
By early afternoon they decided to admit me to the hospital as I was still having symptoms and dehydrated even though on was on I.V. liquids. Due to being contagious I was placed in a isolation room (a private room, with doors closed, and every one that come in had to be gown, masked, and gloved). I was not allowed to go out of my room for any reason. The room did have it's own bathroom and shower which proved handy.
The experience I was not a pleasant one, with a fair amount of tears, but God was faithful, comforting and my companion through it all. Sometimes it didn't feel like it, but other times I would feel Him taking me in his Fatherly arms, rocking me, and gently telling me that all would be well. He wiped away a lot of tears and brought comfort to my aching mothers heart. I was not able to see Jacob for all the days I was admitted.
Then as I was crying out of shear frustration and telling Him I just could not handle it anymore. He calmed me and said just wait it will be OK, it will pass. A few minutes later the nurse came in and told me I was free. It was a huge surprise as I was only expecting to get out late that evening or the next morning. He truly does not allow more then you can handle. As I was leaving my room, the pastoral care worker arrived to offer me Holy Communion. It was such an emotional moment, as I received my Lord at such at time of gratitude.
I am now home, and realize how weak I am. I need to concentrate on gaining my strenght and drinking lots and lots of water.
Thank you for all your prayers for me and our family.
and a special thank you to those who took care of our son, especially on short notice (in the middle of the night) and to my in-laws who rearranged their whole week so that Jacob would have consistency in these days. Thank you form the bottom of my heart.

What I have been doing in the last two weeks????

Growing over 1 oz. of baby per day.

Yes, in total Daniel and Esther have grown 16 oz in 14 days. That is one pound of baby. Is that incredible or what? Well, I think so.
Esther is now 1lb. 9oz., meaning she grew 8 oz.
Daniel is now 1lb. 11 oz., meaning he grew 8 oz., as well. Wow!!!
Are we on track for two 10 pound babies..... Thank God that they have promised to take them out when they reach about 8 pounds each. I just pray that they are at least 35 1/2 weeks when they do reach that weight. That would mean that as long as they are healthy and nurse well they would not have to go to the NICU (special care nursery).

duty of the moment and obedience to God

Doing there duty of the moment, women were blessed by being the first to learn of Christ ressurection, and to bring the good new to the apostles.

(Read Luke Chapter 23 verses: 50 -56 & Chapter 24 verses: 1-12)


How God can bless us, while we do the task at hand? Changing the 3rd dirty diaper of the morning, or sweeping up the mess of Cheerios our toddler have greated for the millionth time, or by just sitting and resting our body in order for our babies to grow and be healthy.

These women in Luke were doing just that, they were doing the duty of the moment. Fixing spices for Christ body, and bring them to him in oder for a proper burial. This would of been their role to play, their duty just as our role is to help those in our lives. It is when they bring these spices to the tomb tof Jeuss that they are faced with the angles telling them of the news of Jesus resurrection. It is in doing there duty of the moment that they receive the news and the joy to tell other of this new that changes lives forever. It is in doing our duty of the moment that God can bless us, as well.

The other important point in this gospel reading is that the women obeyed the sabbath and rested. They prepared the spices, then they rested on the sabbath and then brought the spices to Christ. How many of us are able to in the middle of a task to put down are things are rest when needed? This is definetely and issue for me,... God help me listen to you and obey your guidance to rest when needed. And God help me learn that being obedient to you surpasses what I might think is the duty of the moment.

sharing the fire of our candles

Ever notice at the Easter Vigil, how quickly every one's candle in the church get lite up?

For those of you that are not accustomed to Catholic Traditions and St-Mary's tradition,... at the Easter Vigil, a fire is lite on the steps of the church representing the life that Jesus is gives us,... then a large candle is lite which is the used on special occasions, and once this candle is brought in, we the people gathered in the church lite our candles from this fire. The procedure being that some people get to lite their candles directly from the large candle and then they in turn lite the other peoples candles and those people give light from their candles to other and so forth until every one's candle are lite.
Now, I was amazed at the vigil this year on how fast every one's candle were lite. I was thinking of how effective people were at sharing the light of the candle, in fact the light of Christ. No one thought of asking one another "do you want your candle lite?" "what do you think about your candle lite?", No one second guessed should I lite the others candle, how are they going to react if I offer to lite their candle, what will they think of me if I lite their candle, no one doubted their ability to lite the others... people just turned around and looked for candles that were un-lite and shared the fire of their candle with others.
No one thought about how it would affect them to share the fire or if it would weaken them. Actually, your candle burned higher and brighter once the other candle was lite. .... wow... if only we could be like this with the message of Christ to those around us.... Not second guessing ourselves, not doubting our ability, not wondering how the others are going to react,... just do it,... yes sometimes people will not be ready to lite their candles, some will already be lite, yet others will have been waiting for You to turn around and offer your light.
Jesus, please help he have the courage to speak up and share your light with those around me. Lets light up our world this Easter season.

Candles, Cnadles, Candles, ... It's Easter... by a toddler

Maman and Daddy tell me that there will be a lot of candles tonight as we visit Jesus. All day I have been doing the sign for candle as I am so excited about candles,... I love candles,... Finally here we are at church but they ("Maman" and "Daddy") are now telling me that we have to wait.
Then I see a large Candle, a big candle (actually a fire, but I don't know how to say fire, so I say candle) then a tall candle walks by me,... then... I am in shock... I can't speak,... candles are every where in the church, every body has candles,... what do I do.... what do I say....
"FFFF.... FFFFF...FFFFF....(blowing air out of my mouth)... ffff..... " Why are people laughing,... we got to blow all these candles out,... FFF..... ffff.... fffff.....
Daddy and Maman take me to the back of the church. I am more relax and just keep blowing Maman candle out (successfully) and then tell Daddy to re-lite it, so I can blow it out again. It's really fun,...
but then there are no more candle,... so I slowly fall asleep in daddy's arms.... I hear a little ringing of something, oh! probably all those bells that Maman brought to church tonight,.. but this sleep is to good to wake from. But I will wake for the party in the church basement later....

simplicity can be more peaceful then beauty

I sit here,.. wondering if I will ever get a full night sleep ever again. Even with Jacob sleeping over at my in-laws, I am still fully awake. Esther and/or Daniel is partying a storm and my hip and back are just to sore to lie down. Eventually, out of shear exhausting I will pass out, at least that is what happens on most nights.

I look around my home and realize that peace comes with simplicity rather then with beauty.

You see after three weeks of "modified bed rest" due to having contractions with this pregnancy, I had finally come to terms that as long as our home would be organized I would be content. Well..... I was finally discharged from "modified bed rest" as I had 2 weeks of no contractions and you guessed it I organized my home.... it was so peaceful. I could almost feel God's presence in our home as we went about our day. Things all had a place and a time.

Then..... I decided that I should beautify our home meaning finish painting the kitchen cupboards. After all I had primed that already, that is in the spring time and if I didn't paint them now, when would they ever get painted. Well,... I have learned that one who is pregnant with twins and has not been out and about doing many thing they shall not paint kitchen cupboard for several hours in a row. I totally over did it, and God has placed me back on bed rest with a nasty cold and mild fever that comes and goes. But the worst of it,.... is the peace is gone.

The Martha in me totally wanted to have the beautiful kitchen, and did not think of asking God what he thought of the ordeal. Does God really care if my kitchen cupboards are in need of paint (on the inside) or not? If they are beautify? I don't think so. But he does care that we take care of our selves and rest when we need too, especially when pregnant.

The moral of the story is that God is teaching me that simplicity can be worth more than beauty. As he placed me back on bed rest, I hope for only a day or two, I will try to focus on what his plans are for me and letting go of the plans I have for myself. But....

I must say I love the look of those white cupboard inside and out and I am trying to find out if painting one cupboard at a time will be OK,... or should I just dream of them looking good.