My 3 minute testimony

I might not be blogging a lot lately, but I am sure doing some writing and typing. so here is step one of what I have been working on. This is what I will be sharing at Friday, July 31st in the evening at the SHE SPEAKS 2009 Conference as my 3 minutes testimony.

"Hi I am Roxanne Paul, I am from Ottawa, Canada were I was born and raised.

One of my favorite things to do as a child was to look at my parents wedding picture album. My parents had met while in high school and I felt an intense pressure to meet my future husband while I was in high school. I went from boyfriend to boyfriend, searching for the guy you would fill all my needs, wants and desires. This lead me to find myself divorced and in major financial debt by the I was in my early twenties.

In the midst of my pleasure seeking to dull the pain of my situation, my mother took me aside. She told me I should go back to the church based youth group I had attended a few years earlier, as at least then I was happy. To get her off my case I promised her that I would go on two conditions 1) that would be on a weekend I was off which were very few, and 2) that it didn't cost to much money.

Within a few days, I received by mail an invitation to a weekend retreat for youth and young adults the cost was about 10$. I figure that was the amount I would spend on a cover for one night at a dance club. And honestly I was tired of the kind of guys I met in dance clubs. So why not see what kind of guys I could meet a this church thing. I looked at my calendar and low and behold it was on a weekend I was off.

Here I was heading off to this gathering, of course wearing one of my best outfits, with my hair and makeup on just right, all ready to meet a great, handsome, polite church guy.

Once there I looked the crowd over, no handsome guy! I took a seat and sighed in desperation. Then I though maybe he is just running late, I would listen to the talk so that I could make small talk with him at brake.

Then minister walked in, I was shocked he was not an ordinary clean cut boring man. He had long hair, piercings, and tattoos, Needless to say he intrigued me. He started his talk but telling us the fast paced life style of needing and wanting everything NOW is not how God intended for us to live and that is why we have so many problems. This all made so much sense to me, I started truly listening to all he and the other speakers were saying.

That weekend I realized so many things:
-that God loved me, the way I had longed to be loved all my life.
-I learned that I was constantly getting hurt in relationship because I was not living the way God designed me to live.
-I realized the love I had been seeking all my life could only be filled by God, not some guy.
-I learned that God love me so much that had sent his son, Jesus to die on the cross , to pay for all my sins, that is all those things I did that hurt my relationship with God. It was those things that I did that made God farther from me, he never left me, it was I would had left him by choices I made.
-But God was giving me an other chance, I accept all Jesus did on the cross for me and told God all my sins. A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders and I felt like a whole new persons.

With all this new knowledge, I knelt down in the chapel and said "God, I give you permission to love me" this was not easy as I had been so hurt by those I loved, but i could not keep going the way I was. As I gave him permission I pleaded with him, to not hurt me and to be very gentle. In my mind I saw the picture of a rose bud being gently opened to reveal a magnificent rose. He said that some of the peeling might hurt but that he would do it patiently, gently, and lovingly.

This happened over the next few years, and in some areas is still happening today.
As I started attending church regularly and attending other Christan gatherings, my life became filled with people that helped me out to learn more about God, and His Word the bible, how to talk with God that is prayer and help me to do the changes in my life I choose to do in order to love God more and more.

Today I have can say that I have found the one who fills all my needs, wants and desires, and that is not my husband, he does try, but the one who successfully fills all those things, in his timing, is God. "

Now to work on the 5 minutes, teaching talk on David.